At the moment I've disabled my comment box and the tag-board.

Why, you ask?

Because I think I may be going through a rough time. I don't think I can handle any comments or any hellos when my life in general, is in shit.

And as much as you'd like to think that it is because of you (yeah, it's directed at you.), it's not.

Get over yourself.

For the first time since I held my ticket in my hand, I'm not looking forward to going back to Manila.

Again, it's not about you.

Get over yourself.

I'm scared that when I get there for a visit, we would again have major dramas.

Like what happened last year. I don't think I can handle that with everything that's been going with our lives.

My auntie having cancer.

My Lola and dad getting old.

With my sister going home for a holiday too.

My "Family" having a reunion and me being invited.

The latter scares the hell out of me.

I can't see myself being in the same room with the people who tried to get my mum sacked when she was working.

I can't imagine talking to them when I know the hell they put my mum through.

I just can't.

Call me selfish and wuss.

But it's my life.

I'm entitled to having dreams, fantasies, saying no, saying yes, hanging out with people I find interesting, not giving much time to each and everyone of you, getting hurt, being paranoid, being a bitch and my own opinion.

I may be burned down to ashes in hell when I die.

But at least I lived my life, the way I wanted it to be lived.