Burning me bad

"huwag na huwag mong sasabihin na hindi mo nadama itong pag-ibig kong handang ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo"

I caught up with my friends at BF. Everybody changed. Three of my girlfriends got knocked up over the years and they are not happy mothers.

Four of my boyfriends knocked their girlfriends up and they are not happy fathers.

They asked me why I'm single.

"Kasi ginagawa pa ni God yung perfect guy for me."

They looked at me like I was an idiot. I wasn't in the mood to tell them about what happened to me and my ex-boyfriend so I just shrugged and told them that I got tired of being attached and being in a relationship for three years.

They didn't buy it. Damn friends, they know me too well.

So I told them how I fucked up the only real relationship I ever had.

From the moment I broke up with him with no apparent reason to the moment I asked him back but to no avail.

I was crying by the time I finished. I told them how miserable I am but I can't do anything about it because I've caused this to happen.

I told them how a lot of college crushes had caught up with me but not a single one triggered my interest. Not one.

That I couldn't see myself being touched by a person in that way.

Being kissed by a guy in that way.

Being looked at by a guy in that way.

Why is it so hard to forget?

++++

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl this year. Please grant me these wishes....

• A Sony Ericsson P900.
• A bear-charmed bracelet.
• To be a happy girl next year.
• Good health for my Aunties, Uncles and Lola.
• Good grades next semester.
• A laptop.
• A brand new wardrobe for uni next year.
• A dark brown contact lens.
• A coach hand bag.
• To see him at least once.
• A birkenstock sandals (Last na pair na please????)
• For my credit card to be miraculously debt-free.

Please please please, Santa??

P.S. Enclosed is a map to my home just so you won't get lost. Thanks heaps.

Love Always,

Nikki Angara