Kids, don't you just love them?

Ok, not in a Michael Jackson sort of way, mind you. But I love them kids. I never really thought I'd miss them this much. It's Alexis' birthday and I had to bite my knuckles to keep from calling.

It's one of my New Year's Resolutions: Try not to call Manila. Get a life - a real one.

So I've been trying to get a real life. I'm opening myself up to other possibilities that might come my way.

Like maybe take on mountain climbing. I want to do something "out there". I've lost eight pounds since I last weighed and I'm feeling happy about it. Woohoo! Only twelve more to go and I'll die a happy, happy girl.

I'm thinking of joining the gym again. Bernie is way ahead of me. She has a personal trainer to guide her with what she has to do. She promised herself that she won't bitch about it so I don't ask how she's doing.

I got my old job back. I'll start next week. Might as well psyche myself up. I'll be working with the owner's bratty son. FANTASTIC!!

I'm getting ready for Uni. I can't wait. I strategically scattered my timetable to five days instead of my usual three so I have all the time in the world to do revisions and spend time in the library because let's face it, I never get any Uni work done at home.

I started paying off my credit card debts. It ain't easy. It pains me to pay 1K but I have to. I love my credit card so much I have to stay on its good side.

I got to drive again. Got all confused with which side of the road I should be on. But it's all good. Once a driver, always a driver. *pukes with what I just typed*

Had lunch at ANA hotel yesterday. We had oysters (an aphrodisiac.. so what?), prawns, caesar salad, pumpkin soup, crabs, calamari and I can kiss my eight-pound-loss good bye. But compensated on not eating dinner though.

Been listening to "Beautiful Soul" over and over. I can't get that freaking song out of my head now.

Seeing your friend warms your heart

Finaly saw Dimples after three months. Spent eight hours on Saturday. We just basically caught up. Talked about the restraining order from psycho ex. 'Nuff said.

Email me if you wanna know. Just not comfy talking about that here.

Anyway, it was good seeing her. I missed her. Missed our laughs together.

Naturally, we talked about this guy she's going gaga over. Call him guy 1. He's all that... apparently. Haven't had the chance to meet him just yet. But I trust her taste. Though completely different from mine (prolly why we never had to fight over guys), let's just say she knows what she wants in a guy.

I think she's working on how to snag the guy. It's about freaking time. She's been single for too long. I'd want her to be happy with someone.

We talked about how we both stuck to our promises. HER: Not running away from a promising relationship. ME: Getting the closure that I want. I'm getting good vibes from her. It's like a new Bernie. For the first time that I've met this person, she isn't running towards the opposite direction. She's exactly where she wants to be.

We talked about J, B and T.

Let's just say that I'm leaning towards her on this one. No point in trying to bond with someone whom your friend loathes. Will talk more about it once I get her approval.

Then, as fate would have it, we saw the a guy who plays an important part in her life. We were at Orchid Ave. and saw her(sort-of-boyfriend-but-definitely-was-her-bestfriend-back-in-high-school-now-she-doesn't-know-what-to-feel-and-what-to-do-when-he's-around-but-still-thinks-he's-hot) friend. After that, poof. Lost her sense of direction and got all confused with where we are going.

To be honest, I think he's cute. But I hate the fact that he hurt her. He totally broke her heart when we were in high school. He was the reason why she's all guarded and cautious with dating. It changed when I saw him though. I think it's because I know that she's forgiven him and who am I to hold a grudge?

Caught up with Tiana around eleven and just talked on the beach with what we want to do and where we are headed in life. It's not everday we talk about something deep. Usually our conversations revolve around who (celebrities, mind you) we want to do it with or who broke up with whom or just rant about how we don't have enough money to buy everything that we like.

It was a good night...

Can't stop it from happening

I just received an SMS from my dad asking me what I think of the photos that he had sent me. Photos of my sister after chemo (yep, another person battling cancer. I'm surrounded by unhappy cells.). I couldn't even look at it. It's just too painful to see someone you know looking so fragile and pale. The doctor said she only has two years to live and she's lived her first year. I'm sad. For Daddy. I know it hurts him to see one of his children in that state.

When asked if I'll be going to Canada if she went, "I can't. I probably can't get out of work or Uni. But I'll try."

"But they would love for you to go."

Seriously, why was he even thinking it? It's sad that you have to think about possibilities. It's sad that you have to prepare yourself for something that is beyond your control. Don't get me wrong, I'll be sad if something happened to my sister, but I refuse to beat myself up thinking about it. I'll just deal with it when it happens. In the meantime, I'll get on with my life. Everybody should just do the same. We can't stop it from happening anyway.

And no, this isn't the sister who calls me asking me if I'd done something with my life. This is the chick who enrolled her daughter in CSA when I was in second grade (and yes, my niece is only a year younger than me) and totally humiliated my mum in front of the whole level by telling everyone that "anak sa labas ako".

So forgive me if I don't shed any tears.