Realisation

I realised something today. The hormones that make me go kilig are gone. I don't miss them. I just realised they're gone. I still think some guys are nice to look at, but the my-heart-is-beating-hard-I-can't-wipe-this-stupid-smile-off-my-face feeling is gone. One guy who caught my attention last week at the beginning of uni started to pay attention to me last Friday in one of my lectures. He was smiling and looking and smiling and smiling and smiling s'more. I chickened out with the flirting and just pretended to not see him smiling at me. Also the fact that I think he may have a girlfriend. Now, let's not all be judgmental about stuff, but I'm not going to run after another girl's boyfriend. Ever.

This afternoon in the lecture theatre, I thought maybe it would be nice to see him seeing as it is the first day of the week. When we went on break, I went to get a cup of coffee and as I queue, I realised that he was standing in front of me. He was literally looking down at me and smiling. I smiled back and decided that I'd rather have vending machine latte than engage myself in a conversation with someone who is probably taken but still oh-so-gorgeous.

Flying off like that isn't my thing. I usually like to talk to anyone who would bother to converse with me. That's when I realised that maybe being attached and flirting is not really what I want this time. Don't get me wrong, I still like to perve. But maybe not flirt altogether because chances are - if you flirt with someone who gives you ultra wide smiles, you'd end up giving your number by the end of the flirting session. And that is something I'm not prepared for.

I'm more into doing a lot of physical stuff this year. Kudos to Bernie, I'm motivated enough to get back to working out and enrol in tae kwon do classes and dance lessons. I want to be able to be fit by the end of the year so we can go sky diving in New Zealand before Christmas. And maybe do a bit of scuba diving while we're there.

Whatever, I'm leaving this place. I just had my first tutorial and the assessments are unbelievable I have to cut back on blogging and focus on being geeky.