Why can't I?

Just stay in my room, lock the door, hide under the covers and sleep til 2006?

I can't. Because as Amber said, life goes on.

It's true.

Life does go on. But then you're being hurled with shitloads of problems that you have to deal with every single freaking day of your life.

And you're supposed to go on?

Help me out here, I'm babbling again.

I thought I made a decision.

On Sunday I said to one person, it'll break me if I break you.

Yesterday I said to another person, I like being with you, you make me laugh.

Today I told another person, I can't be with you because i just I don't feel right about it.

I wonder what I will say to another person tomorrow.

You naughty girl, you're breaking hearts all over, a close friend of mine said.

It's not by choice, trust me.

I'm getting my heart broken in the process too.

And I'm not talking about the love department.

On Saturday I told my mother that I went to work just so she wouldn't crack the shits. I made my supervisor incredibly mad and I'm still shitscared to go to work on Thursday for fear that I'd see my life flash before me.

On Friday I partied til five in the morning and announced to my friends that I was going to call in sick for work the next day.

Now, that is by choice. I do know I have to deal with that.

I'm also not talking about just my job.

On Thursday I was meant to meet with my groupmates at uni but I slept through my alarm and ended up waking two hours late for the meeting. They weren't happy.

On Wednesday, I've slaved over a portfolio that I was meant to have finished weeks ago but been putting it off for a while because I work better under pressure.

So let's count it shall we..

Everything is all fucked up.

My love life, let's not go there.

My work, let's also not go there.

My uni, I'm still doing ok but I'm not saying I'm on top of things [why do you think I'm at uni right now when it's my holidays?].

What I would give right to just stay in bed and sleep til all these go away.

Too bitter? Blame it on someone who dropped a freaking huge bombshell.