In my mind

I know I should get over certain things.

The way I get over a breakup.

Or the way I get over a job.

Or the way I get over a really bad hangover.

But sometimes you know that getting over what happened the past few days will be hard.

It makes you think. In a good way.

It makes you realise what you're doing with your life and what you've been upto these past few years.

So I made a list. A list that I want to stick to just so I can get my life back and start anew. It sounds cheesy I know but a girl has to start somewhere.

1. Never take people for granted.

2. Lay off the alcohol.

3. Cut back on smoking.

4. Get a job. Any job.

5. See less of my friends and more of my family.

6. Get in contact with my dad and my sisters and brothers.

7. Do one nice thing for someone a day.

8. Save money for the rainy days that will come my way.

9. Don't fool around.

I know it's a long shot for me to be doing all these sorts of things but I'm gona do it.

I want the old Nikki back. I actually missed her.

The same person who stays at home on a Friday night with her parents. The girl who watches late-night movies alone on the couch with Doritos and salsa dip.

The girl who goes online every single night talking to her friends and relatives all over the world.

The girl whose idea of a night out is going to the cinemas with her closest friends and not out clubbing.

I've changed so much this year and I don't think it was for the good. I was happy sure, but I think I was the only one.

I turned into a bitch and I played around. I no longer want to be that.

This starts now.

Thank you. You're a good friend. You didn't have to do what you did. But I appreciate it.