2006 - Year of Nikki

Since I believe that 2006 will the year of Nikki [I know it's too soon to be thinking about what I want to become next year], I've vowed that clubbing and hooking up will be a thing in the past.

The Gold Coast is pretty small. The Drink, The Grand and Shooters are even smaller. On Monday night, I could've sworn I saw one of my old hook ups. I met him at The Grand but I think I saw him at Shooters. It was scary. I thought after hooking up with guys, I never get to see them again. That's what gives me the confidence to do what I do - the possibility of never running into them ever again.

But was I ever wrong. He changed a bit. He was bald when I hooked up with him but now, he grew his hair out. He's gone buffer and I must admit, he was looking pretty fine. From where I was standing, that is. The funny thing was, I did a good job of ignoring him. Even when him and his friend tried dancing with me and my best friend. I checked him out, but my face didn't register any recognition of him - I deserved an Oscar for that. In all honesty, I don't even know if it was the same person. Either the guy from last Monday was just really interested and would go all out to stare at me all night or we met before. I'm guessing the latter. I'm hoping otherwise.

He probably thinks I'm a bitch. Someone who doesn't even have any recollection of what I've been upto in the past. Just a wham-bam! thank you ma'am kinda person. I don't blame him cos everytime I do hook up I always have to do the whole walk of shame thing. I think about what I've done and most of the time, I'm not really proud of it.

I never like bumping into an old hook up. It's somewhat a reminder of what I did when I had too much to drink and out and about in Surfers Paradise.

I always consider myself as a prude. At least that was what I was up until the beginning of the year. Then I told myself I'd let loose. I'd be happy and have some serious fun. I've been boring most of my life. Falling in love with just one guy that went on for years and having my heart trampled in the process. It wasn't worth it. I promised myself I'd let myself go and not answer to anyone. I'm proud of the kind of person that I have become. Although the things that I've been upto, well, those aren't really award-winning accomplishments. But the confidence I got and the entire different level of independence truly overwhelmed me.

This year had been crazy. I didn't fall in love but I've been in too many boy dramas that'll last me a liftetime. I haven't been in a relationship but I've cried over so many boys. I didn't go on a lot of dates but I always go home with a huge smile on my face.

Anyway, I think I've done my fair share of "wild child" persona. I'd still go out once in a while but I promise to settle down a bit next year. Find happines in different ways. Like actually save up money for travel. Or focus more on recreational activities ie; go back to the gym and actually take up surfing and diving lessons. And no running away from a potential relationship. I don't have to expect that the next person that comes along would be the one for me. But I'll take it one step at a time. I need to grow out of partying too much. A lot suffered and I don't think I can do that anymore.

So yeah, I'll find happiness in different ways next year. Next year will be the year Nikki will figure out what she really wants to do with her life.

I mean, I can't really put that off forever, right?


I've turned into a vampire

I can't sleep at night. I sleep during the day.

It explains why I'm blogging at six o'clock in the morning. I'll crash later. But I'm wide awake now.

I've been doing this routine for a week and a half now. I know it's not healthy but I can't seem to help it. As soon as I hear the birds chirping, I dose off. But if the night is quiet and everyone is asleep, I feel like partying.

Do you think there's somthing seriously wrong with me?


Dreams Dreams Dreams

I dreamed about my ex - yet again. I swear, he's like an itch that just won't bloody go away. Even after almost a year of not getting in contact with him, you'd think that there's a cream for those sorts of things - to make it bearable for you but you just can't seem to get away. Don't get me wrong, I know now I'm better off but simple images of him in my head still bother me. I think it has something to do with the fact that I looked through my 18th birthday photos and I saw him. I went to bed with an ugly frown and woke up with an ugly frown. The last thing I needed was to be reminded of what an ass he was. Ugh.

Not only did he give me heartaches. Now he's giving me wrinkles too.

Double Ugh.


My Horoscopes for today

I never knew there would be a lot of categories when reading one's horoscope.

Astrology - General: Cancer - Your instinct has never let you down, so when it tells you that you're about to take one giant step toward intimacy, don't doubt it, and don't fight it. Whether that intimacy is physical, intellectual or emotional won't matter.

Astrology- Love and Relationships: Cancer [daily flirt] - Don't get suckered into any pointless arguments today. Others may try to take advantage of your current sensitivity, but just give them the cold shoulder. Think with your head, not your heart.

Astrology- Love and Relationships: Cancer [daily singles] - Your finances may need a major overhaul, so don't blow your cash on extravagant dinners to impress some random person. The right one will like you for what's in your heart, not your wallet*.

Chinese Astrology: Rat - Your love life will be in the forefront of your concerns; you could very well succumb to love at first sight; for established couples, there will again be passion in the air. A favorable day to renew contacts with people whom you've lost sight of for a long time. At work, changes will prove to be inevitable, but you'll be able to adapt yourself to them with skill. Great satisfactions concerning your family. You should be free from big health problems; the usual allergies will be in clear regression.

Horoscopes are from Yahoo! Astrology.


Past Life Generator

Since I had nothing to do and so many time to kill, I've been googling a lot of things. Like what I was like in my past life, for example...

Your Past Life:
The Actor -- You may have spent your past life seeking recognition and laughter from friends and family.

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* Hahaha!! This wouldn't be a problem since I'm broke anyway.