Am now officially a blimp

I developed a double chin.

I have love handles around my waist - also known as my very own donut.

Last year, one of my new year's resolution was to lose ten kilos. Which I did lose.

Then I put the five back on in just three weeks.

Eating nothing but purple yam, twig sticks, KFC, rice and anything that screams FAT - I ate.

I also slacked off in going to the gym. My membership expired in September and I was too lazy to actually do something about it. I walk once in a while. I go for a swim once in a while but my workout didn't make me lose the fats.

Now, I can't even step on a weighing scale without being disgusted at myself.

The alcohol-binge didn't help either.

I have such an active social life. But I only have cellulites to prove it.

Ugh. I'm not liking how much I weigh right now.

I'm not liking it at all.

Mark is happy that I'm putting on some of the weight I lost.

Because apparently, the last time he saw me, he can flick me with his index finger.

Ok, I don't see that happening but I know what he's talking about.

Damn him for letting me eat kebab, sushi, pizza, buttered chicken!

I think he's fattening me up so no man would look at me in a manner of wanting to possess.

Ugh!

Just like what my ex did to me for three years.

Double Ugh.

I guess I shouldn't really blame them. I mean, I do have my fat days.

When all I want to do is sit at home and watch TV while eating a whole bag of Doritos with sour cream.

Or watch Pretty Woman and Friends with a pint of Cookies and Cream Ice Cream.

Or heat up a whole tub of lasagne with garlic bread.

Or drink Jim Beam for three straight days.

Or lay in bed instead of going for a morning jog or shoot some hoops.

Or test mum's cooking by having a big serving of whatever it is she's cooking.

Mum said I still look alright.

You can still wear a bikini, she reassured.

But I can't stand the fact that a glass of milkshake makes my ass jiggles for a week.

Ugh!

I have a slow metabolism so apparently, I need to eat a few times during the day to make it fast.

I can blame it on the yuletide season all I want but being lazy is not what Christmas was about.

So yeah, Christmas can take the blame on the food and my enormous appetite.

But Nikki takes the blame on not doing anything recreational.


This year I organised my New Year's resolution early

Since I'm going to be partying on New Year's Eve and probably be hung over on New Year's day, I decided to post my New Year's resolution early this year.

1. 2006 will be angst-free for Nikki. Wich means no dramas whatsoever. I will stop hanging out with people who causes dramas or who are immuned by dramas.
2. I want to be debt-free by the end of the year. I seriously need to think about my finances and how I will pay my credit card debts. It's not looking good but I want to be out of the woods by the end of the year.
3. I would want to lessen my social activities. I would only want to go out clubbing during special occasions - like someone's birthday.
4. I would want to cut back on alcohol. Waking up with a massive hang over every Saturday and Sunday is taking its toll on me. I don't know why I keep doing that to myself.
5. I would want to stop smoking. Not only it is expensive but mum scared me by saying "I don't care about you but if you gave birth to a child with complications, I will shoot you,".
6. No boy dilemmas for 2006. This year, I embraced being single but hooked up every chance I got. Next year, I will embrace being single and actualy embrace the happiness of being one. I will only hook up with men who don't have any emotional attachments.
7. I want to sort out what is really going on with Mark and I. We both know we can't keep doing this to ourselves. We deserve so much more.
8. I want to go back to Manila for Christmas. I don't know how but I will definitely, definitely spend Christmas 2006 in Manila.
9. I am not going to make an enemy out of anyone.
10. I want to be a morning person.
11. I want to lose weight [at least eight more kilos].
12. I'm going to have high marks in university.
13. I'm going to find a job that I actually love.
14. I'll try to get in contact with my sisters and brothers in the States and Canada.
15. I'll make mum proud - I don't know how but this year, she had been complaining about me.. a lot. So I want to do things that'll make her proud.
16. I want to go to Church every Sunday. I haven't been for a couple of months now. Not even on Christmas day. I need to get in touch with my Catholic background again.
17. I want to know what I want to do with my life.

I know - like last year's resolutions, I probably end up doing about four of these. But I'm taking it one step at a time.

No rushing.