I don't want to be alone no more

I am surfing the internet right now. I have nothing to do and I have missed being the internet nut that I once was. So now, I've been punishing my computer by downloading heaps of songs and annoying the hell out of my friends from MSN by playing the songs over and over.

I came across Public Announcement. Remember Body Bumping?

And Lonely?

I remember when Lonely came out. I think I was only about thirteen back then. I didn't know what the song was about.

The memory of me being thirteen was cutting classes and hiding at the back of our school bus so the nuns wouldn't be able to see us.

Another memory was when I tried smoking for the very first time.

Another one was having a puppy love.

But now, I am listening to the song and it hits the spot.

Sick and tired of seeing couples play. Holding hands in the sun all day. I love the way that he calls her name.. Never thought I'd miss love this way til I woke up with a broken heart today.

I know what you're trying to say. I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't feel this way.

But I felt it. When I was alone and confused and alone.

I loved the freedom that singlehood gave me. I basically grew up with a boyfriend. But last year was the year when I embraced being single and just thiought about me, myself -for a change.

But now, I'm back into relationship mode. I've changed so much since I've been with Emmet.

I learned to bite my tongue and to actually think before I open my big, fat mouth.

I learned to be selfless. I think about him first before I think about myself. Even when I go shopping, I buy him stuff that I think he will like before I set myself on a mission to buy something for me.

I learned to put his feelings first before putting mine.

I learned to be ridiculously sweet. Iris and I have been taking photos of me being oh-so pacute just so I can send it to him.

I learned to be understanding and caring.

And I'm learning to be thoughtful. To put aside my needs and wants and demands and accommodate his needs and wants. Because being there for him and giving him what he wants and needs and deserves is something I want to do for him. Every single day.

We have our ups and downs. I do get the occasional doubts that maybe I'm wasting my time and love on someone who doesn't deserve it at all. But I look at his adoring face and I realise, it doesn't matter if I have doubts.

Because everyone is telling me how lucky I am to be with Emmet. To be with someone who makes me laugh everytime.

I used to think it needs to take years to be able to close to someone. But over the months that I've known him, he has become my best friend.

My confidant. My laughing partner. My health and fitness guru. My movie marathon buddy.

My everything.

Sure, they may be a chance that things wouldn't work out. But I'm happy with what I have right now.

He makes me a better person. He brings out the best in me and just for that, I will be eternally gratefu to him.

Because it takes one hell of a man to win me over.

To make me shut my mouth, make me count to ten, take a few deep breaths, grit my teeth and not say anything just so there won't be any dramas.

And it takes one hell of a man to make me feel loved again.