These jokes crack me up

Pinoy Marriage = Man's life cycle...
3 to 8 years old - Paramihan ng toys
9 to 18 years old - Pataasan ng grades.
19 to 25 - Padamihan ng siyota
26 to 35 - Pagandahan ng asawa.
36 to 45 - Palakihan ng income.
46 to 55 - Padamihan ng kabit.

Theme song of married couples...
1 to 10 years - Araw-araw gabi-gabi
11 to 25 years - Saan ka man naroon
26 to 49 years - Gaano kadalas ang Minsan
50 years and up - Maalaala mo kaya

Ano sa Tagalog ang asawa? ("May bahay")
Ano naman ang kabit? ("May condo")

Medyas
Isang alalay: Boss Eddie Gil, bakit mag! kaiba angmedyas mo? Isang green,isang red.
Eddie Gil: Ewan ko nga kung saan ito nabili ni Misis. May isang pares paako na ganito sa bahay.

Eddie Gil Makes a Wish
Eddie Gil shows a map of the Philippines to a genie and wishes that all the islands be connected by fly-overs
Genie: I'm not that good. Make another wish!
Eddie Gil: Okay. Make me intelligent!
Genie: Can i see the map again?

Eddie Gil calling a hotel receptionist.
Eddie Gil: Paano ako makakalabas dito sa kuwarto ko?
Receptionist: Bakit po sir, ano pong problema sa mgapinto?
Eddie Gil: Dalawa lang ang pinto. Ang isa pag bukasko banyo. 'Yung isanaman may nakasabit na "do not disturb" ..

Medical Exam
Eddie Gil is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at thequestion paper for five
minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well. His pants, socksand watch follow suit. The nurse, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on "Miss, I am only following the instructions, " he says, " it say shere, "Answer the following questions in brief'."

Elevator
Eddie Villanueva: Sorry I'm late! brownout! na stuck sa elevator for 1 hour
Eddie Gil: Wala yan ako 3 hrs sa escalator

Six or Eight
Eddie Gil calls into a take-out pizza parlor.
Pizza man: Would you like your pizza sliced into six or eight?
Eddie Gil: Six, I don't think I could eat eight.

Ballerina!
While watching a ballerina tip toeing on stage,
EddieGil commented- "Ang tanga naman ng direktor! Bakit hindi na lang sya kumuha ng matangkad?!"

In a coffee shop
Eddie Gil: 1 coffee please
Waiter: Decaf, sir?
Eddie Gil: Of course! Debaso is too big and too much for me!

Apollo 13
Reporter: Mr. Eddie Gil, have you watched"Apollo 13".
Eddie Gil: no, i might not undertand it.
Reporter: why??
Eddie Gil: because i wasn't able to watch Apollo part1 to 12.

Pizzeria
While in a pizzeria.
Eddie Gil : What are your specialties?
Waiter : Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Eddie Gil : Talaga, bigyan mo nga ako ng Shakey's !!

Science Class
In a science class.
Classmate : Bakit yung airplane pag umiikot angelisi, uma-angat sa lupa? Bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot, nasa mesapa din?
Eddie Gil : Tanga ka pala eh! Kasi yung bentilador may kurdon,pinipigilan yon!!

There was a mirror that eats liars.
pangit: I think I'm CUTE! - kinain siya.
Taba: I think I'm SEXY! - kinain siya.
Eddie Gil: I think.. - kinain na.

Thanks, Nadia. These made my day.