This has been the longest time I've ever shown interest in someone. I saw him (oops. I can't link my old entry as I've deleted it.). He looked so good but the realization that he's with the Chinese chic finally sunk in. I'm trying to shake off the attraction which is hard because he visits me in my dreams now. Ayis told me to stalk the guy. Do the works...

"Sit next to him."
"Borrow his lecture notes."
"Talk to his friends then talk to him."
"For crying out loud, at least try to find out his name."

I would love to do all that. I swear, I would love to come up to him and ask his name or borrow his lecture notes. But I can't. I clam up everytime I see him. He would look at me and I'd turn the other way. I'm such a goner it's pathetic. But the funny thing is, everywhere I go, he's there. Take yesterday, I went to the mall to meet with my friend, (read previous entry.) and he was there with his friends or family, I couldn't tell. I was fumbling through my bag and I almost smacked into him. What a pity. I could've fallen on top of him and I could've died a happy death.

He didn't recongnize me, though. I was wearing my sunnies and I dyed my hair brown so there's no way.

This morning I woke up with thoughts of him; "It's Monday, I get to see him."

Then today, I was queueing to buy a bottle of water and he was at the entrance talking with his friends. Ok, it's a bit obvious that I would run into him here as we both study at this very same place. When I entered the building I saw him looking at me through the sliding door. I'm such a stalker I've perfected how to check him out without full-on looking at him straight in the face. I went to my tutes but he wasn't there. I walked out trying to look for him - yes, it's pathetic. I actually went to look for him. He was sitting at the entrance with a friend and they were talking. I walked past him and I saw him looking at me yet again.

Now I don't know why he kept on looking at me. Whether it's because he finally realized that I'm so crazy about him and is thinking of me as a crazed fan or he likes me. I'd like to think the latter is the reason. But I can't get pass that. I can't get pass the walking past him and the occassional looks.

This is so chilidish. I should just walk up to him and plant a big fat kiss on his mouth and see if there are any sparks. No- that can be passed as a plot for a romantic comedy. I need to do something really out there. Really un-Nikki like. Something that would make me stop in my tracks and draw out a breath thinking; "Did I just do that? No, did I really?"

I'm almost finished with my first semester and God only knows if I'll see him again after this. One thing is for sure, though. I want to talk to him. To get his number and to go out with him. To hog the phone with him on the other end. To drive around with him and to have a good laugh. To spend every moment available with him.

I'm so gone.