05 January 2005

Will Karma come to bite me in the ass?

I had been hanging out with a friend who I know had this certain feelings for me. We watch movies and hang out. We exchange SMSs every single day. We see each other almost everyday. I don't have any romantic feelings for him. At least, not the exhiliratiing, inconvenient love that Carrie Bradshaw is looking for. I like him and I later found out that he loves me.

I shouldn't have minded but the fact that he had a girlfriend kinda tickled me and I went on with this little charade knowing that at least two people will get hurt - this guy and his current. I led him to believe that I wanted more from whatever we had and that I wanted for this work out. Honestly, I care about him but not THAT much. I even told him not to break up with current. But he did and I was fucked.

She called me up and started going off at me for ruining the best thing that ever happened to her. She told me that she never thought I would be the person who would come between her and him. I honestly never expected for this to go this far. I wanted to have and I knew that I will hurt at least one of them but I never wanted to steal him away from her. Wala nga siya mapapala sakin eh. If he wanted to break it with her, it ain't my fault anymore cos I won't be waiting around for something to come my way when I'm not even sure I wanted it to be mine.

I know I didn't do anything wrong. He knew the deal. I knew the deal. But how come I feel so guilty?? One thing's for sure though, I never want to do anything like this again. It ain't worth the pain I've caused.

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