Being slightly confused

I'm having one of those days when you just lay on your bed and think about what you've accomplished in your life so far... As I was analyzing myself, I realised that what I've done with my life hadn't really been that great. No, this isn't depression talking. I'm not depressed. I'm just confused.

I wanted to think about someone who I know will put a smile on my face. The weird thing was, when I closed my eyes and tried to doze off, the person I saw was this guy in my Economics class last semester.

I was freaked out. I don't know if it's the possibility that I might see him again this semester that triggered it or I've been unconsciously thinking about him all this time - which is unlikely. My three-month vacation in Manila was consumed by me getting over my ex-boyfriend in between going out with friends and getting drunk. The last stretch of my holiday was being stalked at which wasn't pretty.

Thinking: Is this another test that I have to get over? Just so I can be happy without anyone trying to shit all over my heart?

I know I sound bitter but I hate being thrown off. Just when you think you're doing ok, the most unexpected thought gets inside your head and fucks you up.

*bangs head against the wall* Damn it.