Another man out of my life

Telling someone off gives me the shits.

But I had to do it.

While walking Ash to the bustop, I saw him. He was headed towards us.

I was in the middle of inviting Ash out for lunch when he came. He caught the last of our conversation.

Ash: Nah, I can't. Maybe some other time. I'll call you.

Me: Alright. Well, I'll see you.

Muay Boy: What about me? I'm free for lunch.

Ash: Are you guys a couple?

Me: No. He's engaged.

Muay Boy: We used to. But not anymore. We're still very close though. Aren't we? Then putting his arm around me.

Me: Umm.. I think we never were a couple. Looking up and raising my eyebrows.

Muay Boy: Yes we were. We went out a few dates.

Me: But that wasn't couplehood if you know what I mean.

Ash was getting all confused.

Ash: Anyway, I have to go. Nikki, maybe next time? Then walked off.

Muay Boy: So, where are we going?

Me: Oh, I can't. I gotta work.

Muay Boy: But you just asked him to lunch.

Me: Cos I knew that it would just be a quick bite. Whereas we'll take longer to eat lunch cos we'll talk a lot.

I was starving but I wasn't gona go out to lunch with him. Over my dead body. Just then, we saw J approaching us.

J: Care for lunch? I'm freaking starving.

Me: Nah. I gotta work.

Muay Boy: I'll pass.

J: Fine then. J rolled her eyes at us and walked off.

Me: I thought you were hungry? Have lunch with J.

Muay Boy: I can't be bothered. The freaking girl talks too much.

Me: Ok. I'll just go to the toilet and I'll be on my way.

I went to the toilet and called J. I was starving and I was keen to have lunch with her. I told her to wait for me at the carpark near my car. Muay Boy was still there when I got out of the toilet.

Me: Well, I'm off.

Muay Boy: I'll walk you to your car.

Me: No. j is there waiting for me. We're going out for lunch.

Muay Boy: Nikki, what the fuck? What's going on?

Me: I don't think I should hang out with you anymore now that there's another girl in the picture.

Muay Boy: Why? I thought you were my friend.

Me: I am. But you just said it yourself. We were couple. That made you my ex. And you know very well I don't stay friends with my exes. You know how I just cut them right out my life.

Muay Boy: You'd do that even to me?

Me: I just can't be there as a sincere friend. At the moment I'm not out for your best interest.

Muay Boy: So you're saying that you'd walk away from our friendship just cause I'm engaged.

Me: That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm walking away because you are engaged. I'm sorry.

He was silent for a moment. Looking down. Then he looked up. Nodded his head.

Muay Boy: It's all good. None taken. I see you around then.

Me: You don't have to avoid me around Uni. I'm not that big of a bitch.

Muay Boy: No. I'll make it easier for you, don't worry.

Then he walked off. I could've called out. But I didn't. Because I knew it was what I had to do. I'd hate myself if I didn't do it. He's happy now. What the fuck does he still want from me? My dating mantra is to cut men out of my life after the break ups. I kinda made an exception for him cause I feel connected with him somehow. But I just couldn't break my rule for him. Resentment would always resurface and any compassion that I feel will be eaten alive.

When I reached my car, J was looking at me and shaking her head. He already called her.

J: I hope you know that I'll still hang out with him.

Me: Of course. We didn't part on bad terms anyway.

What I love about my friends is that they are all neutral on any situation. That's why I know I'll still hear from him. That bums me out.

On the other, I know I'll always be interested in whatever's going with him.