Yep, I'm broken.

"This is worse than any break ups I've ever had." - Came Muay Boy's text message last night while I was at work.

My thumb poised on reply - "This isn't breaking up. There's no relationship to break from."

"It's not a relationship. It's you."

It's me. I left it at that.

Don't get me wrong, I came to his rescue when Tiana started bitching about him. Saying that he's an asswipe. I had to come to his defense. Because he's not at all like that. Far from it, actually. He's one of the sweetest, smartest, cutest, most considerate guy I've known.

But he's engaged and there's nothing I can do about it.

OK! This stops right now! Enough moanin' and groanin'. Get a life. A real one.

As Dad said, "I know you're heartbrokem, but you will never be beaten."

So yeah, I'm broken. But not beaten.

I got a life

I went out with my friends on Saturday night. Straight after I broke the news to Muay Boy that I can't hang out with him anymore.

Went bar-hopping. Perved on this incredibly cute drummer of a band. Went to another club where B's ex works. They ought to be together but somehow, they just couldn't find the right time to be.

Amber's boyf were there. Have a sneaking suspicion he's using Amber for convenience. Wouldn't be the one to tell her though. Just have this gut feeling that they're bound to break up cos he's being a total ass to her.

B hooked up. With a pilot. Was all kilig about it til Tian made a big deal about how I should be upset cos I saw him first and that B still went for him. I rolled my eyes. Is this high school all over again? It was ridiculous. I think Tian doesn't really like me that much. No love lost there. B's theory was it's because I'm closer to her than Tian is to B. Whatever. I was a bit bummed cos the music wasn't really my thing. Techno puts me to sleep and I didn't even get drunk. Bummer.

When mum asked me how my night went the next morning, I told her it was ok. She saw right through me, though.

"Dahil ba kay *Muay Boy*?"

"No."

"Di mo ko maloloko."

"A bit."

"Ikaw ang umayaw diba?"

"Yep."

"So ano problema?"

"Nothing."

"Mag-aral ka nalang muna ng maigi bago ka mamroblema ng boyfriend."

"I will."

I know she thinks I'm all brokenhearted cos I didn't argue with her whatsoever. I'm just tired of falling for the wrong guys.

I just want to go back to being silly in crush with cute guys at Uni. I don't need drama. I want to go back to perving hot guys at the gym. Flirting with cute guys at bars.

Most especially I would SO want Muay Boy to get out of my life.

New Mantra, New layout.

Kudos to her for changing her layout a month ago, I finally mustered to play around with htmls and got me a new layout. I'm going back to being all cheery and all happy.

I want to be the bouncy Nikki. Way before all these dramas started.

WIth the hope that once I changed my layout. My luck too, will change.

I still don't like putting on taggies and comment box, though. Bear with me, peeps.