I'm having a bad day

Yep, I'm having a bad day. So I went and checked my inbox.

The irony of it all. My auntie sent me a forwarded message with "having a bad day?" as its subject.

What are the fucking odds.

So I read it. I softened a bit. Cos I got reminded that no matter how crappy you think your day had been. Other people's lives are far worse than yours. So who are you to complain, right?



Still having a bad day

I'm sick.

I can't taste anything.

I can't smell anything.

Even the nicotine on my smokes I can't taste.

I stink of Vicks Vapour Rub.

I'm surrounded by balled up tissues.

My nose is dripping like tap.

My head is just about ready to explode.

And I think, I think my heart is broken.


You know it's over

When someone got your boyfriend thinking.

"fucking bitch, she made my boyfriend think!!"

One day he's telling me loves me, the next day I'm wolfing Chinese food with my two best friends because I've become unexpectedly single.

I'm not complaining. He wants to have kids? I'm not going to reproduce for him.

I'm not making any sense am I?

Well, let me start..

My now ex-boyfriend "chatted" with his ex. His ex told him she wanted to have babies - with him. My ex, being a baby maniac [that doesn't sound right, but who cares?] started thinking - about us. Me and him. Him and I.

Where he thinks our relationship is going. When he thinks I'll be ready to settle down and have kids.

Why am I not as committed as he is. What my priorities are. What his priorities are. Is there really a future. Or are we just fooling around.

I told him straight out what my priorities are. I told him I'm not willing to settle down anytime soon because I need to prove something to myself first before I get married and reproduce.

He told me there would be no pressure.

I believed him, of course.

How dumb of me.

Because as soon as his ex mentioned babies, he forgot all about not pressuring me.

He doesn't want to end things with me, I don't want to either but I don't want babies.

Babies right now are not happening. Not with me.

Especially not with him.

"Don't feel all guilty for breaking my heart because you didn't,"

I fell for him, yes. But I did say not enough to sacrifice what I want.

And til now, I know what I want.

Just goes to show that I'm heading in the right direction.

Guys come and go. They'll love you and think the world of you.

But they also fuck you up.

I'm not swearing off guys altogether.

I can't say I didn't give it a try.

"Are you alright?" My best friend asked.

"Yeah, I will be.." I said.

Convincingly, of course.

He wasn't one of the major loves of my life so I think I'll live.


I love

My best friends.

"Nikki, we have something for ya.." Dimps sang out over the phone.

Thoughts of Thane immediately went to my head.

Yeah, I am a crazy woman.

I was out having a break up dinner with my ex when she rang. I told her I'd meet her somewhere in an hour.

An hour later, I called her up. She got pissed cos she now needed me to drive to the Chinese restuarant instead of them picking me up and us three girls going together.

"You always wreck the fucking surprise.."

I can't help it. I think it's in my genes. I'm not meant to be surprised.

So I ate sweet and sour pork, fried rice "Fly lice, you idiet.." [I just had to put that in, it reminds me of Leathal Weapon 4.] and guzzled down a coke. Not a diet coke but a regular coke. Screw the diet. Last night was not the time to watch my calorie intake.

Amber didn't like him. Thinks he's too old for me. Bernie liked him. She knew I was happy.

It's all over now. So what did my two precious do to cheer me up?

HIRED PORN!!!

Amber dared Bernie to go to Blockbuster and hire porn movies.

We were laughing our asses off because the guy behind the counter was sizzling hot and Bernie was renting out about ten porn movies.

It was a porn night free for all - or so we thought.

The movies were filled with boobies and women's private parts.

Everytime a woman undresses, "Ow.. we don't want to see that shit.."

"No more boobies, please.." Amber begged the TV screen.

"Man, my eyes are sore from all the boobs.." I complained.

"If I see another boob, I'd start crying.." B said.

We didn't get hot nor bothered. In the end, Amber settled for internet porn, looking at guys with their thingy hanging out.

We're not perverted. We were just having a girls' night in.

What do you think guys do when they all hang out together behind closed doors with a DVD player and a box of tissue?

Who else can do that for you? Sleep over, eat chocolates, doritos, coke and watch porn.

I love my girls.. I really really do.


I just had a thought

When one thing in your life becomes perfect, the other things gets fucked up.

I just got a job and now I have to be dumped.