Tossing and Turning

My friends say I can do better.

And that I don't like him that much.

And that I should take him out of his misery and let him know that I'm not really interested.

But I am. Very much.

I think.

One thing's for sure though, I won't let him break my heart. It's been a week and I don't know if I should keep on seeing him or he's over the used-by date.

I don't like to think that I put an expiry date on the guys I date.

The week before him, it was Fabio. We had fun but he smothered me with too much attention. And I didn't like it.

But with him, it's different. He's playing me hot and cold. He'd call forty times in one day and won't call the next.

He'd be so sweet one day and would get on my nerves the next.

I'd be pissed off when he calls me but then would be upset when he doesn't.

I'm not playing him. I don't think I am. I'm enjoying his company and I know think he likes me.

When my horoscope told me that my lovelife would soon blossom, I didn't think it would be him. To be honest, I thought it was going to be Tim Tam. He came right after I read my horoscope and I was happy.

But now, this incredibly thoughtful, sweet, funny, mature and decent guy just showed up out of nowhere and I'm confusing myself once again.

I spoke to him for an hour. We argued at first. Because he was laughing at something that wasn't laughable to me. I almost hung up on him. Good thing I didn't cos we started flirting bad.

Maybe you should ask your cousin to have a drink with us on Friday, he said.

No, I don't let him drink and smoke in front of me, it's disrespectful, I answered.

I'll spank you if you have a drink on Friday, he said.

I don't need a drink for you to spank me, I teased.

Ooh, that's good. You got me, he laughed.

Why don't you want me to meet your cousin, he asked.

Cos then he'll tell mum and I can't handle that, I said.

Oh ok, I was gona ask you to come over last night to watch the Aussie Open with mum. Good thing I didn't then, he said.

I was quiet. He wanted me to meet his brother, his friends and his mum.

Usually when a girl does this to a guy, the guy runs towards the opposite direction.

And I think that's why I'm confusing myself because he now wants me to be a part of his world.

He wants to set up his single friends with my single friends. I said no.

I don't know about your friends, but my girlfriends don't need to be set up with, I said.

I never said that, I'm just saying it's cool if we all hang out together, he argued.

Two letters baby, N-O, I said.

Four letters babe, F-I-N-E, he laughed.

I'm just not ready to be called Nikki-And-Him. Him-And-Nikki. Just yet.

I don't want us to be joined at the hip. Or I'll lose interest and eventually dump him.

But somehow he knows how to work me. And I like it.