Ok it's official

I officially don't care about Emmet and I.

Never mind the fact that the boy is always on my mind. Sure, I still call him once in a while to see how he's doing but we have OFFICIALLY drifted apart.

Think not seeing my so-called boyfriend for a week and a bit now.

Think self-esteem plunging from Everest high to a pathetic low.

Think bingeing on New Zealand Natural and fast food takeaways.

Yeah, I've lost a promising relationship but I can't say I didn't see it coming.

Somehow, we're just not a match.

The only good thing that came out from this is that at least, I'm not scared to give a relationship a go.

He doesn't want to "break up" but he doesn't want to make it work either. What the hell am I supposed to do? I'm far more valuable than to be treated like a piece of crap.

I'm not saying that because I'm up myself or anything but it stings me that he tells me he loves me but then proving otherwise.

It's not his fault I thought of him as different.

It's my fault for thinking that he's actually a decent guy. For trusting him without even knowing what he's like. I hate feeling this way.

It feels like everything is betraying me. My ex-boyfriend, my health, my schedule.. and the list goes on.

I feel like my life will be constipated for a while. I don't think it's a bad thing though.

I did say angst-free. And somehow I'm delivering. Yeah, I'm disappointed but that's about it.

Disappointed at him for wasting my time. For letting me think - for a second that there are decent guys left out there.

Disappointed at myself for letting him close to me. For actually thinking; hey this guy's different. He's not.

Disappointed at the situation because I actually turned down someone I was really keen on to give the relationship a chance.

Everything happens for a reason, dad always says.

It's pretty obvious what the reason is. He's just not the right guy.

And somehow, as it dawned on me that he's not the right one for me, it doesn't seem as bad. Sure, I'm alone and I'll be missing him because let's face it, we were good for a while, but I'd rather learn that there isn't any connection now than later on down the track.

So yeah, this year love-wise is going well*. Let's sum it up, shall we?

hook-ups: 2

boyfriend: 1

break-up: 1

Charming, isn't it?

*I'm being sarcastic here