The return of Mark

Yep, he'll be here in four weeks.

His contract expires in second week of December.

And he's already booked a ticket around that time because his eighteen month contract with the hotel that he works for is almost finished.

Eighteen months had passed.

It's been eighteen months since we ended things for good.

It's been eighteen months since he was out of my life but somehow he manages to creep back in.

I cut him out but he's clawing his way back.

A part of me is scared of what might happen once we see each other again.

We didn't technically end it. He just got married [I was being sarcastic here].

I'm excited though because that means I'll be on holiday when he gets back and we can start playing basketball again.

I miss him so much. I cut all sorts of communication with him. Last time I heard from him was a month or so ago. It was liberating to cut him out of my life and just not worry about it.

But he's like my period pain. No matter how much I want it to go away. And no matter how much I can live without it, he will always be there ready to intrude in my life and living everything in a mess.

Ladies and germs, I'm welcoming you to the pre-mark blog entries because I can bet you my neck as I write this thing, once Mark gets here, this blog will be filled with confusions, heartaches, anger, jealousy and a whole lot more.

As what he always does to me every single time he appears and enters my life again. And again. And again.

I'm anxious to see him. He wanted to meet Emmet. And I want Emmet to him. Emmet doesn't know yet because he'll get freaked out.

Regan still bothers him until now. Every single time my phone goes off he asks me if it was, Bernie, Iris, Lucy or work - his indirect way of asking if it was Regan.

I told him there is no competition. Because there's none.

I like Regan. Who wouldn't? But it doesn't matter because I chose him over Regan. And that's that.

I chose to continue my relationship with because I believe that it could go somewhere.

Believe it or not, I see a future with Emmet. Still tiny, but visible now.

He's standing solid. His stocks are high and he keeps me happy.

Being with Emmet makes me realise that Mark is a thing in the past. Emmet is my future now.

And I like it like that.