I made a decision

Emmet and I officially broke up.

Now I don't know if it was the right thing to do. But I do know I have to reassess my feelings with him.

We hardly ever talk anymore. It makes me sad but at the same time, I think I need this time apart to organise my thoughts.

I don't know what to do.

I have uni assignments chasing my ass and I have a thankless job that sucked everything out of me.

The only thing that kept me going was my relationship with Emmet and even that is out of the window.

I have all the reasons to self-destruct. I can put on a Marissa Cooper persona and proceed on a downward spiral.

But I won't. I want to get over this. I called him a few times but he never answered his calls.

So I guess that's that. He's too upset to even talk to me.

I'm not going back to grovel. I apologised for what I said. I did my part.

I'm still wearing the ring that he gave me.

It'll take a long while for me to get over him. After all, fifteen months is a long time.

I loved him. Still do. The break up had nothing to do with my previous post. It just made sense to take a breather and just regroup.

I'm sad, yes.

Relieved? A little bit.

Happy? I feel like a truck is running over me right now.

But do I think I made the right choice? Well, I'm certainly not confused anymore.

I'm not worrying about what will happen to our future or IF we even have a future together.

Will I date straight away. That's a big, fat no.

I'm making a pact. I'll keep wearing the ring.

I'll take off the ring when I feel that I'm ready to move on.