Wow

This is even harder than when I broke up with my ex of three years.

I seriously do not know what's going on anymore.

As I said, this sucks.

I think it's harder because I loved him deeply.

I've grown mature in this relationship and I actually believed that he was the one.

I really want to get back together with him. I'm borderline desperate.

I've done everything I could to talk to him but I guess he does need his space.

And since I love him, there's nothing I can do but respect that.

I just don't want this to be over. Or if he wants to break up, I wish he could tell me so the healing process can begin.

It's like a slow death. Or waiting for an execution.

I don't even know what he wants to do with us.

Wai said to respect his decision and that I should relax. That I will eventually get him to talk to me - after all, no one can turn away from a fifteen month relationship that easily.

But this is all too familiar. My ex turned away from a three year relationship faster than you can say I found someone else.

Why could this be any different?

I'm expecting the worst.

Worst: Him telling me it's over and that I should just move on.

I just wish the verdict is coming soon. I can't take this.