Married

The wedding was good.

The groom made me cry. I bawled like a baby and was disgusted at myself so I drowned myself in Jose Cuervo.

The bride was gorgeous. She always is anyway, so that's a given.

Standing next to them and watching them exchange vows made me so emotional and made me think about my lovelife.

Or lack thereof.

I have no boyfriend and no prospects.

And the sad part is, I'm happy with having no prospects.

I've never been peaceful. I like the fact that I have no stress and worries.

Is it weird to be happy in this kinda situation?

I haven't given up.

Hell, no.

The guy I liked last is in a different state and I haven't found anyone else.

I'm not looking to replace him and I have a lot on my plate to even consider dating again.

My track record is not very impressive, like my credit! Hehe.

My ex from London called and he's married with a kid which I'm happy about.

All my exes are either married with kids, married or settled in a domestic bliss.

*stops the barfing sound*

Well, except for one.

The only one that didn't cheat on me.

Maybe good guys and girls do finish last.

Cos he hasn't found the right girl to be with and he's actually a decent guy.

In and out.

Oh he's a decent guy on the outside, I must stress.

All through the wedding, guests keep asking my mom when will my turn (to get married) be and my mom would roll her eyes and answer, "I don't know. She's not very keen to look for a relationship at the moment. I hope she hurries up cos I want a couple of grandchildren before I turn 60."

Nice, mom.

Way to go.

You've just turned up the heat on the pressure cooker!

I really, really, really wish the guy from another state would come back.

He hasn't messaged for almost a month now which shits me which I'm relieved about.

I had hoped he won't message to give me the peace and the closure that I truly deserve.

I'm halfway there.

I love weddings but watching a friend get married does remind you of the fact that you're not even close.

*sigh*

I was fine before this.

I have this uneasy feeling that I'll be one of those people who would embrace "single blessedness".

I'm just being a cynic, bear with me.

But I tell you this much, I refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies in my stomach.