Kicking off a not so new addiction

Like cigarettes men, I'm kicking off being fat.

My best friend is getting married and the fat girl inside me (who may I add is already on the verge of beating the hell out of the thin girl inside me) is not going to win.

No, sir.

Not this time. I've handled a lot of bitches in my life and I always win.

But this bitch is different.

She's spiteful, revengeful, difficult.

And a massive pain in the ass.

She's me. What the hell do you expect?

It's like changing nail polish, really.

Pick the color that best suits your mood.

And at the moment, my mood is telling me to not be a pig and get ready for the wedding.

Let the thin color nail polish be picked.