One hell of a day

Five-thirty: Exam Day. Alarm went off. Dragged my ass to the bathroom to shower. Went to Uni to study for the exam.

Six: Was freaking cold. Had to wear my cute beanie to protect them brain cells. Tee hee.

Six-thirty: Found a bench at Uni as library don't open til 10AM on Saturday.

Nine-Thirty: Been engrossed with studying didn't even notice my tummy growl.

Nine-forty five: Went to the vending machine to get something to eat.

Ten: Made a beeline for the quiet study area. Looked at mobile phone. Damn, Only had three and a half hours left.

One-fifteen: Went to the lecture theatre.

One-thirty: Perusal started.

One-Forty: Exam started.

Three-fifteen: Finished.

Three-forty: Went home. Had my late lunch.

Four: Had some shut eye for an hour.

Five: Drove to Work.

Ten-thirty: Drove to B's place.

Eleven: Went to Surfers.

Twelve: Had dinner at Hungry Jack's.

One-thirty: Hung out at Charlie's.

Three-thirty: Dropped B off.

Damn, am I supergirl or what?

Just trying to say Thank You

My mum had a padasal yesterday for her brother. My tito passed last month. I didn't write anything as I found it hard to talk about it. It's not like we’re close. I only got to see him and his family when we got to Ilocos Norte every summer. The last few years had been difficult for him, though. He had a massive heart attack but he didn't die. It's not like we wished for him to die but passing is better than being a vegetable. He couldn't do anything anymore after that. He had to rely on his wife for everything.

Last year, his wife passed. It was even more complicated as no one wanted to take care of him. Not even his kids. Hopeless people. I swear. I hate them. I never really got along with them.

Anyway, after the padasal when Mum was washing dishes, she saw a figure on her left. It disappeared and then appeared again. It was short and chubby. My tito looked a lot like her.

"Kuya kung ikaw man yan, wag mo ko takutin. Gusto ko matapos yung hinuhugasan ko."

The figure disappeared and never again returned.

This morning, Mum told me about it. It scared the life out of me as I got home at three and stayed downstairs for half an hour before crashing to bed. I'm familiar with ghosts every fourteenth of July my grandpa would visit me in a form of a shadow. It's like our annual thing. I know he's not out to get me. He's just saying thank you.

Maybe that's what Tito was doing. Just saying thank you.

Yin Yang

the Balance.

Why is it that every time I'm happy, contented and wouldn't want to change anything in my life, people I care about hit rock bottom?

B was desperate to have someone to talk to last night. She was feeling down. As I was listening to her, I realised I've been really fucked up lately. I guess trying to forget your pain is really the best way to go. I couldn't even offer any words of advice to her. Have I turned into this Ice Cold Bitch? Or maybe my heart died. Or turned to steel. Or on hibernation.

She asked me what she should do. Told her to drop the sleaze bag. I know it's hard for her to do it. I found it hard to drop my own sleaze bag but I did. I know she will too.

She may not know it, but she'll get through this. I know she will.

I'm proud of her already.

Yin Yang Part Two

As I was surfing Friendster, I came across my cousin’s page. His caption in one of his photos was something along the lines of, "You killed my heart. I'm a playah now."

Checked my yahoo, he was online. Clicked on Instant message.

Me: I'm tasting my own medicine and it is fucking bitter. What's up with the freaking caption?

C: Wala lang. Pa-arte. Ayoko na magmahal.

Me: Haha! Patawa. What’s up?

C: Si *ex-girlfriend*. That's fucking what?!

Me: Still?

C: Sadly, yes.

Me: Hay. Move on, dude. You're better off.

C: I know. It's hard. Ayoko na talaga magmahal. Bullshit na pag-ibig.

Me: Don't say that. I know you don't mean it.

C: Eh, ikaw? May pumalit na ba?

Me: You mean crushes? I have a lot of them lately.

C: Hindi. Yung "real thing". May pumalit na ba?

Me: Wala pa. But I'm not looking, though. At least di ko sinasabi na ayoko na magmahal. It'll come for me.

C: Pathetic mo. Hopeless romantic talaga.

Me: Duh. I think my name is Nikki. I'll always be a hopeless romantic. You are bitter.

C: Eh, ikaw. Bitter ka pa ba? Or di na? Parang ang hirap eh. Hirap talaga ako.

Me: Bitter pa. Kasi ayoko siya makita or makausap. Pero I'm trying my damnedest to move on. Besides, I'm really liking someone right now. It's just sad cos he doesn't know. Pathetic nga eh.

C: Eto ba yung German? Yung sinasabi mo?

Me: Yep, hay. Sad ng buhay natin. We have so much love to offer but no one wants to take them. Hehe.. Pero I'm hoping he'll notice me. I really like him.

C: Good for you. Ako, ewan ko. Ewan ko na talaga. Sana andyan na ko. Para makalimutan ko na siya.

Me: Who knows. In a few years' time, we'll get our own place in Melbourne and we'll get laid every weekend. Haha.

C: Manyak ka talaga.

Me: You'll be fine. I'll be fine. We'll be fine. We had our hearts broken at the same time. We'll find love again together. Trust me. You trust me, don't you?

C: Oo naman. Thanks, Nik. I need that. Buti nalang online ako. Salamat talaga. You cheered me up. Sana andito ka. We'll get drunk sana. I'm in the mood to drink.

Me: Hay naku. Oo noh. I'm desperate for alcohol. I haven't drank for ages.

C: Hindi ka na umiinom? Ano nangyari? Pa-girl effect ka nanaman dyan. Tama na kaartehan.

Me: Tanga, I'm trying to study well. I don't smoke either cos it's too expensive. I've changed, bru.

C: Leopards don't change its spots.

Me: Ah, true. But I'm not a leopard. I'm a pig. hee hee.

C: Pigs will always be pink.

Me: They can differ. Ok, I'll be a labrador. You can get a golden one or a black one.

C: Labrador works. You'll be a bitch. haha!

Me: I can feel the love, C. I can feel the love.

C: Kidding. Ano na balita sayo?

And we chatted s'more. It was good.

It was refreshing.

It was totally me and C.