I suck

At bowling. J and I went Bowling last night to forget about or woes. She just finished her Accouting exam and was just about ready to kill herself. I finished my Business Comm. oral presentation and was just getting ready to study for my upcoming exam in Economics.

Phone vibrated. "Hey, ready to make an ass out of ourselves? Pick me up when you finsih studying and we'll go bowling." I was grateful. I needed a distraction. And bowling might be it.

An hour later, drove towards her place and went for sushi. I've been really naughty for the past few days. I've been eating nonstop. Probably because of stress with presentations and exams I pig out every damn chance I get. I ate Ice Cream tempura for desert. Yum. Way better than her green tea Ice cream which tasted a bit like cheese. Ugh.

Anyway, went to Surfers for coffee. Got a call from Frodo (It wasn't really his name but Dimples kinda made a joke about it. Thanks, B.) - this Swedish classmate of mine. He turned out to be in Surfers and wanted to see if we're keen to hang out. He was one of the guys who wanted to have a drink with us last week when J and I were out with the other two guys. We met up with him at Starbucks and just had a few chats. He was trying to be mysterious about something. Regarding one of our classmates in tute but I couldn't be so sure. I wasn't in the mood to pry him either. If he likes to tell me, he'll tell.

After coffee, we went bowling. I sucked at it. In all honesty, I don't think Paeng would be very proud of me. My ball always went to the gutter and it didn't help that J was laughing her ass off everytime. She's good. I. Hate. Her. Kidding.

After being bored out of my mind from bowling, we went to watch Amytiville Horror. It wasn't scary. The acting was hilarious and the only good thing was Ryan Reynolds taking his shirt off in most of the scenese. Double Yum. What I would give right now to be Alanis.

Foolish Nikki

I know I said I set my eyes on men with accents. Jude. Colin. Hugh and the list goes on.

But I can't seem to take my eyes off this damn German Guy. Damn him. I can't take my eyes off. Literally. I was at the Uni Bar yesterday with my classmates playing pool and was kicking Frodo's ass at the same time when Guy entered with his usual girl buddy. I literally froze. Tom, one of my classmates took one look at me and followed my gaze. I was a goner.

What the fuck is wrong with me? He doesn't even know me. I think him and his friend might be catching on that I like him. It's not funny cos that would be utterly humiliating. But I can't help making an ass out of myself everytime I see him.

I'm pathetic with a capital P.

It all started when I was sick

I thought fate had punished me.

Making me feel all sick and dizzy.

Making me go to the doctor.

Making me call in sick.

What I didn't know was fate actually stepped in and gave me a present by being sick.

I was too sick to work so I called John, one of my workmates to cover for me. I haven't met this John fellow but I've been told that he's a backpacker from Britain and is keen to do all the work possible as he's saving money for his trip.

He agreed to work for me. I detected a hint of Brit accent but was too sick to even pay attention. Was just grateful that he'd do the shift for me.

By the end of the night, I saw four missed calls and two text messages on my mobile. All from him. Asking me if I could drop off the key of the shop. I drove to work and handed him the key. He wasn't hot but his accent was even more adorable in person than over the phone.

He's gone now. Moved to Thailand. I'm not devastated but that little incident made me fall in love with guys with accents.

Jude Law.

Hugh Grant.

Colin Firth.

Damn, John.

Everbody is going to Bora

My friends went a month ago.

My cousin went on Holy week.

His sister went last week.

Emailed me just now telling me how beautiful the place is. Sent me some photos too. "Para inggit ka" was her exact words. Bitch.

Everybody's complaining about the weather in Manila.

How hot it is. How lucky I am that it's not at all hot here.

But they get to go to Boracay to cool off and relax.

And I'm stuck here freezing my bollocks off.

Bouncy old self

Thank God. Three days of bitching and cramps had passed. I'm now back to my old bouncy self. Hurrah!

PMS made me miss my ex-boyfriend again. I spent the whole of Sunday talking about my ex-boyfriend with Bernie. She probably was just about ready to cut off her ears and give 'em to me. It was ridiculous, really. I went on and on about what I'm feeling and on and on about whether I should talk to him. B told me not to. I know I shouldn't. I wouldn't. It's just these damn mood swings making me miss him all over again. It's bad, really bad. I feel like such a total loser. Very sad....

At least that was what I felt before going to bed last night. "I'm never gona get over him..." I was miserable. Of course, I didn't realise I was having PMS. Who would know that PMS has this bizarre way of making you feel worthless and fat and ugly all at the same time???

This morning though, I woke up with a huge smile on my face. I am sleeping with Jude Law. *grins* In my dream, that is. It's a recurring dream. Dreamed about him twice. That dream alone can make me feel beautiful and sexy. What I would give to have Jude Law waking up in my bed every single morning..

Not dating

My preference in men changed. I'm no longer interested in Asian guys. Except this Filo guy who works at a sushi shop. He's dating my friend's sister but he's fine.

I went to have dinner with J and a couple of my classmates at Uni on Wednesday. J swore the guy likes me. I don't. He's icky. I don't like everything about him. It just so happens that we are doing this restaurant review together and it involves us going to dinner. J didn't like the men so she faked a headache and wanted me to drive her home. On our way to the carpark, however, we saw two of the guys in our tutorial. They're from Sweden. Yum. Asked us if we're keen to have a drink with them. J, cured from her nasty headache, agreed. I declined. J looked at me like I'm an idiot. I probably am. Dragged her to my car. It wasn't easy. She wanted to hook up with one of the guys. She wanted me to hook up with the other guy. He wasn't shabby. I'm just not interested. Plus, the fact that the two guys we went to dinner with were still with us walking us to my car. It was awkward. They knew J wanted to go for a drink with the other guys. My classmate asked me if I'm interested in the guys too. I wasn't but I had to lie cos if I don't, he'll bug me again for a movie and that, I don't need right now. So I said yes. I think he was bummed but I don't really care.

I was wrong. Last night after I finished work, I got three missed calls from him. Boy, this guy is definitely interested. Two messages and one voicemail asking me to have dinner with him on Thursday. I told him I got plans. Hope he got the message. I'm not saying I don't like him cause of his race. That would be utter racism but I just don't like him. If he turned out to be German Guy, I'd ask him to jump in the bed with me in a heartbeat. Not literally, of course.

Scrambling to...

Today, I did a lot of scrambling:

Scramble 1: Scrambled to get to work. Manager called and asked me to get to work in half an hour. Took a power shower, grabbed the keys and dashed madly to the shop.

Scramble 2: Workmate called in sick. Began to get busy. Two staff rostered plus Friday lunch rush. CRAZY.

Scramble 3: Stayed back for half an hour to help friend. Looked at watch. Had to rush over to uni to hand in an assignment. Call from home. "I think I did something to your pc." from Uncle. Cursed. Drove home. Fixed something that wasn't there. Cursed some more.

Scramble 4: Drove to uni. Stupid guy kept cutting me off on the road. Gave him the finger. Made me all better.

Scramble 5: Looked frantically for available computer. Found one. Uploaded my assignment on the internet and handed it in. Done.

Scarmble 6: Went to Hospitality department. Looked for assignment dropbox. Couldn't find it. Circled the building twice. Realised I walked past it twice.

Scramble 7: Seed of doubt in mind. Called friends. Asked each and every one of them how they uploaded their assignment. Told them I have a feeling I did it wrong.

Scramble 8: Went to get available pc - again. Checked to confirm. I did it right. Phew. Time to surf the net til lecture starts at 6pm.

Far out. It's been a busy day. At least I get to see German Guy in ten minutes. *grins*

Pinoyexchange bit me in the ass

After five months of not logging in at Pinoyexchange, I decided to surf the forums to see if something interesting would catch my eye.

Oh there was something interesting, all right. Previous messages from my ex-boyfriend. From 2003. Messages that I haven't read. The subjects said "SORRY". I felt a pang of pain and hate. I still feel the resentment and the pain. I guess it'll never go away. I just don't let myself think about him that much cos it's too painful. Why oh why did I decide to check on pex?

I guess I loved him more than I thought. *sighs*

At least I get to perve on German Guy. I seriously need the distraction.

A freaking blast from the freaking past

My ex-best friend messaged me at friendster. I was at uni trying to finish my paper when I decided to surf the net for a little while. Of course, did my blog routines then friendster. Looked at the top right corner of the screen. Hmmm.. 2 new messages, 1 friend request, 1 testimonial.

Interesting. Checked my inbox. Oops. Saw her name. First instinct was to block her right out of my life again. Then looked at the subject - Hello? And Hey? What is this girl on? Decided to stall for a while. Went back to my homepage. Clicked on friend request - her again. What the..?

Finally braved myself to read her message. Might as well find out what she wants. The letter was long. Eyes went straight to the good part. An apology?

Unreal.

After three years, she decided to apologise. And apparently I'm still her best friend.

You gotta be freaking kidding me.

Clicked on reply.. Started typing. Typed NO WORRIES on subject.

Then... Don't worry about it. I'm over it and moved on. Good luck, ok? We're both living happy lives now, let's keep it that way. Take care. Nikki Angara

Yes. It was short. It was cold. It was stiff. But that was all I could offer. All I could ever offer.

++++

Best friends in 2001. Her life fell apart. Mum didn't return from NYC. Dad had someone move in with them. Got herself pregnant. Boyfriend's parents didn't like her. Called me all the time for confidence.

I gave that to her. Even when grandmum didn't want me hanging with her cause she was doing drugs. Still hung with her cause she was my friend and needed me. Fifteen years of being friends.

November. She had her druggie friends over. I was there cause I brought her siomai. They were asleep. Went to the toilet to pee. Saw someone inside. A guy wearing a white sleeveless top. Told her somebody broke in. Her phone went missing.

Her druggie friends told her I took her phone. Laughed at first. Thought it was hilarious. They were dead serious.

The bitch accused me of stealing her mobile phone in 2001.

Stopped talking to her since. Couldn't be bothered defending myself. Would've made myself look guilty. Besides, I had a better phone than her.

Haven't heard from her in three years. I don't know what brought this on.

She's not much of a loss really. She was my friend. I was there for her every single time. I snuck around just to meet her cause I know she needed me. She needed me more than I needed her. Then she did that.

Fuck that.

Excuse my French.

Something worthy to write about today

I saw German Guy.

I almost passed out. I almost really did. I didn't talk to him or anything. Duh. Like he knows me. I'm crushing on him from afar but just catching a glimpse of him puts a stupid smile on my face. I had to push Niera somewhere to release my kilig.

She thinks he's "so-so" - meaning not really hot but boy, he can make Nikki sizzle kinda "so-so". He may not be hot to look at but he is to me. I'm actually branching out from my typical taste - a major plus according to her. I used to like Asian guys. Maybe because I always see Asian guys when I was, I don't know, in Asia.

It doesn't matter what my type is - I'm liking European guys as I speak.

Plus the fact that the new Pope is German.

Germany has placed itself in my Good Book.

Can't. Everybody's blocked.

Remember my friend's boyfriend whom I have the biggest crush on when I was in Manila? His house is haunted? He talks to the ghosts? The cute freak? Remember him?

Anyway, he apparently broke up with my friend and now wants my contact details. My cousin gave him my YM address. He's been trying to message me at YM but there weren't any answers so he asked my cousin what is up my ass why I haven't been replying to his messages when I'm online.

Reason: I blocked everybody out. Well, those who aren't in my list, that is. I just can't be bothered being bugged anymore. Also, I don't like the idea of talking to him behind my friend's back because that is something LaQuanda would do. Not Nikki. I don't like hitting on my friends' boyfriends - not anymore. Please forgive me for that.

Well, he's still hot and if he's still interested in contacting me, he can just email me or message me at friendster.

When there's a will, there's a way. But this chick is no longer interested in him, I can tell you that much.

Dear Whoever Is Out There,

If ever you come across Cupid, can you please ask him to help me out? I just need a tiny, itsy-bitsy favour. I just need to be in the right place at the right time, if you know what I mean.

Say, have German Guy to drop by my shop while I'm working so I can talk to him?

Or maybe, have him sit right next to me at the lecture theatre and have him talk to me?

I know this is asking a lot but I know you can do it.

You let me notice him. Now, he makes my day. Every single day.

My kilig is back because of him. Not quite cos we still don't talk but I really want this guy. I seriously do. Can you help me, please?

Please?

Thank you.

I guess people will always have THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

My cousin is in ruins - again. Her ex-boyfriend is living with someone. She's devastated and begged me to talk to her and now she's yakking on and on about how much it hurt her and how she's still trying to come to terms with her break up with him. Break up of 2000. uh-huh. Over five years ago. That's right.

I really feel for her. But I just can't imagine being hung up on a guy for half a decade.

Oh, gawd. Please don't let that happen to me. I've been a good girl. I don't deserve that.

My blog routine

I'm very predictable. I do the same thing over and over til I get bored.

Every single time I get online, I check five different blogs.

Ariane, Dimples, Tina, Tin and Cher. I like reading these blogs. In fact, I'm addicted to it. I find it interesting. I really can't remember how I came across these people's blogs. I just find myself reading through their pages every single time.

Dimples, I know cos, if it's not obvious, she's my best friend.

The return of the hazel brown contact lens

I'm having my contacts on Saturday. Hurrah!

After ripping apart my contacts when I was in Manila - you can blame that on the alcohol that made me so drunk I passed out on the men's toilet, I've been keen to get another pair. Now, I'll have one. Double hurrah!

I miss German Guy. *sighs* Wala lang, sharing.

Whatever your tongue confess

Bluff it 'til you become it.

They're all true.

I said that it had been an awful, awful week.

It was true. But it got worse.

I'm sick. :-(

Apparently my iron is low.

We've all been drunk at least once in our lives so you guys can all relate.

When the world around you spins out of control and you just have to sit down or lie down for it to stop.

Yep, I've been feeling that an awful lot lately. Only, it's accompanied by high fever. My face and lips are all pale and I just have to stay in bed just so I'd stop crying over feeling woozy. Yes, I confess. I am a big baby when I'm sick.

I'm all drugged up too.

The reason I believe is the fact that I don't eat meat. Not that I chose not to eat meat but that I've been on a diet for so long I stayed away from pork and steak. I only eat chicken and seafood for the last month and my body being already low on iron since I was a kid, took a plunge.

Mum blames it on my late night outs with my friends - which had been every single night.

I blame it on not having meat, naturally.

So I haven't been working for two days, and I might call in sick again today. I can't work cos I might pass out. But I can't NOT work cos I need the money.

Last night, Mum made me eat beef stew and twiggy. I cringed.

"I don't eat crap foods anymore."

"Mas mabuti nang mataba ka pero wala ka namang sakit kesa payat ka pero mababa naman ang iron mo. Alam mo naman na kailangan alagaan mo ang iron mo eh." Mum was worrried as hell. I don't blame her. As a kid, I almost had a bone marrow transplant. Thank God I didn't have to. But it kinda made her all paranoid about my sleeping habits and iron intake. I used to eat liver every day.

I'm going to the doctor on Wednesday.

I know what my doctor will tell me so I'm not at all keen. First, he'll check my bp and then ask me questions then come up with a conclusion that my iron is low.

Duh.

It's been an awful week

I've put on weight for not going to the gym it's pissing me off.

I had a huge fight with mum that had us completely ignoring each other.

I'm not happy with phone. I want to have it changed.

The only thing I'm blogging right now is the fact that I won $250.00 with Bernie when we caught the fugitive. But even that had its downside. They spelled our names wrong.

Yep, it's been an awful week.

Learn Some Corporate Lessons

Checking my inbox this morning, I came across this email from my cousin so let's tickle ourselves, shall we...

Corporate Lesson #1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she could say a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure

Corporate lesson 2

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized, "Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. Upon his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3

A sales representative, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one.""Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Corporate Lesson 5

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not?" So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Corporate Lesson 6

In Africa, every morning a gazelle awakens knowing that it must outrun the fastest lion if it wants to stay alive. Every morning, a lion wakes up knowing it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.

Moral: It makes no difference whether you are a gazelle or a lion: When the sun comes up, you had better be hauling ass .

When I blog, I really blog

There are things that I've realised over the weeks. Ready?

Realisation 1: People will come and go as they please.

They leave your life without so much of a "so long" or "Ciao" or basically "I'm already committed to someone else". Then they expect you to just take it and move on with your life and accept their offer of friendship. They never hesitate to hurt you. It sucks.

Then people enter your life in a form of a university student who can't speak a word of English. He would walk around uni looking lost with only his girl buddy with him. Yet, you look at him and feels this insant attraction seeping through you (ahem, Mr. German guy!).

Then once you've decided that you can't get past the language barrier and the Jewish issue, the attraction will resurface again with his friend doing idiotic things for him that can only be known as a way to get my attention (plus the fact that he mumbled, "idiot" to his friend after she did that).

Realisation 2: Pain is gain

Torturing myself to go to the gym for six days a week paid off. I look healthy and I like the person that stares back at me in the mirror. I know I need to lose more but I'm taking it one day at a time. I binge once in a while. How can you not when there are McDonald's every fifty metres?

Realisation 3: It's all about me

This year will be about me. I promised that to myself earlier in the year and I'm sticking to it. I'm taking up recreational activities at uni such as badminton and volleyball. I go to the gym and taken an interest in tennis. I gave up taekwondo. After experiencing sores in my body I realised it isn't for me.

I'm seriously saving for New Zealand. I want to have enough money to go skydiving, bungee jumping, white water rafting and scuba diving. I feel more confident now since I shed a few kilos.

I will be more than ready for my Euro trip next year. I'm so excited!

Realisation 4: Age comes with responsibility

I'm twenty. Will be turning twenty-one in July. I work reasonable hours and study a more than reasonable hours at uni. I kick myself everytime I don't have money but I manage to scrape through the week with ten dollars in my wallet when I'm broke - which is most of the time. I've taken a lot of responsibilities this year. Offered to pay for our power supply and our phone bill. I've renewed my contract for my mobile which ties me up with them for two years with $25.00 to spend at the minimum a month. Then there's my credit card. 'Nuff said.

Bills bills bills. There's too much of them it's not even funny.

Realisation 5: I am a bitch

I can if I want to be. Check previous post. Angry replies were in my inbox this morning. I didn't bother to reply. I have things to worry about than them. Seriously, I've been provoked so it's not my fault. I'll live.

Realisation 6: I am a geek

I stress about Uni all the time. I'm beginning to think it's stress that makes me lose my weight and not the gym. I call friends at uni asking them if they need help with our paper because I just can't sit still. I want to be at uni all the time doing essays and assignments.

I'm sick in the head but I wouldn't want my life to be any other way.

Fault finder

I just realised I'm turning into a fault-finder.

Incident #1.

"I decided not to like German guy anymore."

"Why?"

"Cause I realised that Germans killed six million Jewish during the war. That's a lot of people."

"But it's not his fault, Nikki. He didn't do it."

"Doesn't matter. I decided I'm not going to like him anymore."

"You're being stupid."

Incident #2.

"You know what my Titania book told me when I asked when I'll have another love relationship? It said that I won't find it hard to attract interest but I should value myself more and be relaxed when things warm up."

"Maybe you'll turn out to be like me when I was running away from possible relationsips." - Dimples.

Maybe I'm turning into a commitmentphobe.

I don't want to be a fault-finder. But I seem to cannot help myself. I would look at a guy and automatically look at something off about him rather than something good and hot.

What happened to me?

It played twice tonight

My song for him.

I picked it during the time when Dimples had songs to conclude her relationships with her guys and I realised I had none. It still brings a little something everytime I hear it.

Special two

Missy Higgins

I've hardly been outside my room in days
Coz I don't feel that I deserve the sunshines rays
The darkness helped until the whiskey wore away
It was then I realised the conscience never fades
When you're young you have this image of your life
That you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a wife
And you make boundaries you'd never dream to cross
And if you happen to you'll wake completely lost

But I will fight for you
Be sure that I will fight
Until we're the special two once again...

And we will only need each other
We'll bleed together
Our hands will not be taught to hold anothers
Coz we're the special two

And we could only see each other
We'll bleed together
These arms will not be taught to need anothers
Coz we're the special two

I remember someone old once said to me
That lies will lock you up with truth the only key
But I was comfortable and warm inside my shell
And couldn't see this place would soon become my hell
So is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face?
Well I guess the answer is don't do it in the first place
I know im not deserving of your trust from you right now
Oh but if by chance you change your mind
You know I will not let you down
Coz we were the special two
And we'll be again

And we will only need each other
We'll breathe together
Our hands will not be taught to hold anothers
When we're the special two

I'll step ouside my minds eyes for a minute
And I'll look over me like a doctor looking for disease
For somethin that could ease the pain
But nothin cures the hurt you, you bring on by yourself
Just remembering, just remembering how we were

Isn't it sweet? I like a little drama in my life.

People connected to my exes came and bit me in the ass

And I bit back.

"Hey sis!" - a friend of the guy I dated in '01 emailed me. After making it clear that she didn't want me with her friend, she starts to be all friendly and cheery again? I don't think so.

"Please don't call me sis, you're insulting my mother."

My alter ego, LaQuanda, sure is a bitch. Why LaQuanda, you'll soon find out.

"Hey, I heard you and *psychotic ex boyfriend here* broke up. I'm with him now. How are things with you? Are you still in contact with him? Why? It's too bad things didn't work out between you two." came an incessant email from my next door neighbour who, apparently, is going out with stalker ex.

"You're an ugly piece of sh*t so go get f*cked. Leave me alone."

Sometimes, it's hard to be a good person when you're surrounded by ugly and dumb people.

Why LaQuanda?

I thought of the name after watching White Chicks. It's just seems so cool and so out there. It's like a name of a person that bashes people up in Jerry Springer.

Anyway, when I get drunk, turn into a bitch or just being a pain in the ass - just remember that it's not me - it's LaQuanda.

Tee hee. I've gone crazy

Seattle, anyone?

Mum might be going to Seattle in July. She might be going to her high school reunion. She might be staying at her cousin's place while she's there. She might crossover to Canada to see Niagara Falls.

Might might might.

It's more likely to be a would, though.

Boo hoo for not going to Manila

Iris is going to Manila. She's all packed and ready for tomorrow.

Yep, she's going to Philly tomorrow.

And I'm stuck here. She gets to go to ATC and Greenbelt with her mates and I'm stuck here. Where is the justice in this world?

Finally

I finally came across a Titania book of questions. Google for it and you'll know why I'm keen to own one.

Cost me over twenty bucks but it didn't bother me.

Finally finally finally.

I asked six questions and they were pretty spot on.

Wouldn't want to jinx my Titania so this ends right here.

What have I learned?

I finished reading Purpose Driven Life. It totally changed my outlook in life.

Except for the swearing, I know I know. I still have to work on the swearing but I'm a recovering smoker. Yep, I no longer smoke. For forty days now. I'm so proud of myself. I really did a complete turn around. I know what my purpose in life is. I think it's around helping my less fortunate relatives. I've been so blessed it's a shame if I didn't give back even just an ounce of what I have to other people. I still don't know how I'll come about to helping them but that I'm trying to figure out.

I seriously recommend reading PDL, it's not a full on Christian book. Everything that is written on there makes sense.

Trust me. I read it, a self-confessed fiction-only bookworm.

The Anthony craze continues...

I know I'm not supposed to be talking about him but please bear with me.

Click on each word, please.

The Pontiff is Dead

I'm sad. I know there's nothing we can do about it.

Let's just all pray for his soul.

Lesson learned today

Never engage in a heart-to-heart conversation with your mother when you're not in the mood.

"Nik, iniisip mo pa ba si *ex name here*?"

"Yeah, all the time." Imagine me rolling my eyes and my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You know sarcasm is the lowest kind of humor."

"Haha, ya think?" Couldn't help it. I didn't appreciate her prying.

"Eh, gusto mo pa ba magkabalikan kayo?"

"Yeah, I like the idea of going back to a doomed relationship when he can full-on hurt me all over again and say nasty things to my face. Yep, gusto ko magkabalikan kami."

"Bakit di mo nalang kasi aminin na mahal mo pa. Wala naman masam dun eh." Grrr... she's not helping me get over my ex.. really.

"Ok, I do, pero di na mashado. Sa isang araw siguro twice ko nalang siya naiisip. Pero now that you mentioned him, shempre di na siya mawawala sa isip ko today. Thanks!!" How sad is my life? I still think about him...

"Paano kung tumawag?"

"I'm not going to play the What If game."

"Paano kung magtext?"

"Mum, didn't you hear me? I said I'm not going to play the What If game."

"Paano kung makipagbalikan?"

"What the f*ck? I told you I'm not going to play the What If game." She's used to my swearing especially since she's getting a kick out of the conversation. That woman has a nasty streak.

"Paano kung..?"

"Mum! Seriously! Stop!"

"Tama ako. Mahal mo pa. Wag ka mag-alala iniisip ka rin nun."

"No he's not. It's better to think that he's not."

"Don't be too hard on yourself."

"I'm not. I'm just trying to be realistic. Anyway, can we drop it? I'm supposed to be happy today. I'm in a happy place, don't wreck it."

Why is my state of mind in a happy place?

"You know what I want to do today?" I asked Dimples.

"What?"

"Go to Robina Town Centre." I said with a twinkle in my eye and a devilish grin on my face.

"Ok, finish rowing and we'll get out of here."

Half an hour later, we were at Robina Town Centre. At the carpark, she held me and her cousin up by staying a couple minutes longer inside the car to put on some lipstick.

"Bernie, hurry up."

I could hear Anthony Callea in the background.

Anthony Callea. The first runner up in the second season of Australian Idol. He is in the Gold Coast. It is a big deal for everyone as we all know that he should've won the competition. He's tons better than the actual winner, I tell you.

We queued for forty-five minutes, bought his single and his album and was actually nervous when it was our turn to get onstage for his autograph.

From afar he's gorgeous. But upclose he's freaking hot.

Dimples shook his hands and vowed that she's never going to wash the hand that Anthony shook.

I was fuming cause I didn't save the photos that I took of him in my phone. Good thing Dimples took her camera with her.

Anyway, we were literally burnt from staying under the sun for too long, but I didn't care. I have my very own autographed single of Anthony Callea.

I never been starstruck before. Not even when I went to watch Usher in concert for his 8701. But it's different with Anthony Callea. I had goosebumps all over.

He made my day.

Will upload more photos, I promise. Wouldn't want to be selfish. We can all share Anthony Callea. Yep, we can all love Anthony.