The last entry for the People in Manila Saga

They leave tonight.

But we went to Surfers to have the kids' faces painted.

Arent' they cute?

I wanted to get my face painted but I'm pretty sure they won't have enough pain for my enormous face.

I love these kids to death. I'd kill for them.

One thing's for sure though.

I will surely miss them.

Movieworld Part Two

It was Ate Bubbles' birthday yesterday and her birthday gift for herself was to treat her cousins and her kids to Movieworld.

This time, Michael and I went to ride the Superman Escape and Lethal Weapon.

And looked at the Matrix Exhibit.

It was good fun.

We rode Shrek, Batman, Wild Wild West and the Scooby Doo Coaster.

I love my family.

Especially if they treat me to go to Theme Parks.

Wait, scratch that. I'm not THAT materialistic.

It really was awesome

You're right.

That was awesome.

Funny how you can just turn your back on your friend

I said to myself, I'm a very understanding person.

I said to her, But your ass is really pushing it.

On Friday, her ass pushed it.

I ended up calling Dimps to pick me up at the hotel at 6:30am because I couldn't even look at her.

But I guess, it's been long overdue. She hasn't been a really good friend. Far from it actually.

Last year, all I did was to go out with her and be there for her when she needed someone to talk to.

When she needed someone to bitch with, I was there.

When she needed someone to get drunk with, I was there.

When she needed someone to hang out with, I was there.

And what did I get in return?

All my boyfriends were all ugly, she said.

I could do so much better, she said.

But when she goes out with an ugly motherfucker, he's sweet, he looks out for her, looks don't really count you know.

What a load of bullshit.

When I was playing around, all the guys I hooked up with was ugly.

That I was wearing beer goggles everytime I hook up with someone.

But when she does, he's cute.

I don't care what you think Nikki, he was cute. We're leaving now, she would say.

I know hate is a very strong word but I do hate her now.

She just keeps on pushing my buttons and on Friday night, I blew up.

I walked out of the hotel and into Bernie's car without looking back.

I messaged her on Sunday to get my makeup kit that I left in her car. I ended up driving towards her house to fetch it from her sister.

Sadly, I think I've wasted a year hanging out with her because I don't miss her one damn bit.

She could've shot me

But she didn't.

I missed Iris' party last night.

Because I had to go to Brisbane to spend one last time with my cousins.

I really thought she was going to get upset with me. But thank God, she didn't.

It was her twenty-first for crying out loud. I knew it would be a big thing.

But having to miss her party and going to Brisbane made me realise something.

I get along great with my cousins. Even the one who went on hiatus for a seven years.

We went clubbing. Did everything and get pretty drunk.

We went to the Casino to play Pokies. I won one dollar and I was pretty happy about that.

We then went to the bowling and bar in the city. Played Daytona and pool and drank vodka and tonic, Victoria Bitter, red wine and Cruisers.

After an hour or so, we went to a strip club. Yes, with my cousins.

We drank Heineken, Corona and Kirin.

We stayed at the strip club for a couple of hours and we decided to go to Hungry Jack's for a night cap.

After eating, we lined up at the taxi rank which took a grand total of one hour. Talking the entire time, we talked about the kinds of TV shows we watch.

From Lost, Amazing Race, Survivor, Prisonbreak, Family Guy and American Dad.

The whole night was good fun.

I told you before I was a proud cousin.

I'm more prouder for having connected with him.

In a relationship

People say that if you're in a relationship, you need to accept every single flaw that comes with the person.

So yeah, Emmet has a lot of flaws.

And I mean, a lot.

Like he doesn't remember when he'll take me to the movies.

Or I don't get to see him every single day.

Or he doesn't say sorry as much.

But he's a sweetie as well.

Like learning how to speak Tagalog.

Or messaging me everyday.

Or leaving voice messages on my voicemail every single time I couldn't get to answer his calls.

His been learning to speak Tagalog for the past couple of days.

He surprised me by messaging me yesterday in Tagalog.

It didn't make sense, of course. His grammars were wrong, and he took everything literally.

But once I catch on that he writes literally, I understood what he was talking about.

He must really like you, if he's willing to learn your language, my cousin said.

Even Michael, my cousin in Brisbane said that he's very keen.

It's pretty obvious, Nikki, no guy calls twice in a span of half hour, he said.

I know he's keen on me, why else would he try to get back together?

But I've realised now that I'm not going to expect too much.

Not every guy can make your wish come true.

Not every guy is perfect.

But for me, the single thing that he does, all his quirks, the way he gets confused over simple thing, the way he forgets stuff [I'll get to that later on..], etc are actually endearing now.


And no, he's not forgetful Lucy

It's not his fault when he forgets our dates.

A medical mishap from years ago made his memory shut.

He doesn't have short-term memory loss. I didn't get that lucky.

But it took me weeks to get to it. To accept that he forgets stuff.

But what can you do? You can't dump a guy who'd been through so much before just because he forgets little things.

And I know he wants things to work out because now he tells me that I need to remind him every single day about our plans, our dates and what we'll be doing in advance.

I think he needs to get a black book where he can record everything.

But he wants me to remember everything for him.

I don't mind one bit. I think it's the least I can do.

Another one becomes attached to Nikki, my cousin teased.

I'm not that attached to him to think about the future, but at the moment, I think there's no point in rushing into things.

I'll just see where this is going.

So far so good, though.

Ok let's talk about Emmet

I told you he's back. And I don't think he's ever going away.

I've learned something about him. If you treat him mean, you'll keep him keen.

So I'm only just messaging him when he messages me first. I don't message him with any sweet stuff that I usually do.

Because when I do, he takes me for granted.

It's like learning to walk all over again.

I like him. And even the Oraqle said that my feelings for him are definitely stronger than his feelings for me.

I don't mind that. Because I do have feelings for him. I wouldn't say I love him but I have strong feelings for him.

I have feelings for him.

There, I said it.

I said it to myself though, but I said it.

And the Camera Whoring never stopped

This was taken on the day they went to Seaworld. I had to work so I didn't get to go with them. I was so pissed off, but work at the moment is something I'm keen to do.

But they're not making it easier for me though. They bought really nice hats and they were showing it off.

Hmp.

The next day, we went to Pacific Fair and go to Intencity.

It's like a pseudo-Timezone.

It's really nice. Kuya Chris took them to play.

My cousin and I went shopping.

It was a good two days. They're going back to brisbane on Friday though.

Camera Whoring 101

Bianca really liked my camara phone. She kept playing with it, taking snapshots of herself and her sister with it.

Sometime, the photos come out blurry and even really dark.

It took tens of photos to actually get a nice one and believe it or not, these are the good ones.

Bianca gets really restless while taking photos. Especially if she's having one of those days - not the PMS - she's way too young for that. But her "sumpong" phase. She wasn't even looking at the cam. But yet, she wanted to have a good photo.

Bea on the other hand is so lazy I don't think she likes to even lift her head for a decent photo.

So we compromised. She gives me a big fat smile and I'll let her rest her head on my shoulder.

It worked out perfectly.

The Easter Bunny came and dropped an enormous amount of Easter eggs.

In our backyard, in my bedroom, in the kids' bedroom and in the living room.

I had about seventeen easter eggs. All were planted in my bedroom. They planted it while I was at work.

The kids were waiting for me to get home so I can hunt the eggs down.

But they ended up hunting the eggs for me. They were so excited they started showing me were they hid the eggs.

I had a good laugh. Bea got upset with her sister because Bianca told me where they hid the eggs.

I had different kinds of eggs. Cadbury, Bratz and the cheap ones too, courtesy of mum of course, that cheapskate. But easter gets me really excited. Ever since I was a little kid, I would wake up in the morning to hunt down the boiled eggs that mum planted everywhere in our Manila house.

It was double the fun because Carlo and I would do it together, along with our friends in the neighbourhood.

I knew mum was the Easter Bunny because I caught her boiling the eggs the night before the Egghunt two years in a row.

After that, I helped her boiled the eggs and plant them for other kids to hunt them down.

Bernie and I bought each other a Simpsons' Easter eggs package but I ended up giving them to our next-door neighbour.

The son of my ultimate crush.

No, Freddie Prinze Junior didn't move in.

But my neighbour sure is hot.

So is his wife. She looks like Bec Cartwright.

So mum and I call her Bec. Hmp. Whatever, at least he's got good taste. He didn't go to waste.

I'm digressing.

Happy Easter Everyone!!

It's meant to be glorious Saturday

And Iris' birthday.

But I can't get enough of the kids.

I've never been this happy in my life, I don't think.

But since it's a holy day, I'd go AWOL for awhile. Til easter which is tomorrow.

Yey!

Advance happy easter, everyone!

But technically, it's still 13th April stories

Movieworld stories.

The continuation of so finally they are here story.

Now where was I?

Oh yeah I think I ended with the Looney Tunes Village.

And the Abidee-Abidee comment. I think if somebody were to ask me which character I like the best, I'd have to say Porky Pig. He's just too cute.

Each park bench on the Village has a rock statue of a Looney Tunes character. I got the girls to pose for P.P. Hee hee.

There were heaps more posings with Bugs, Lola and Daffy but I figured Porky deserves to be on my blog.

After the posing with the characters, we rode on a mini log ride. Cameras weren't allowed inside but me being stubborn as always, kept my phone and started taking photos.

There's Daffy with Speedy Gonzales and Taz.

I didn't get that lucky though. Some of the photos were a bit blurry.

Technically, the objective of the ride was to count how many Bugs we would be able to find in the entire ride.

I counted fourteen. But the attendant said there were eighteen. Meh.

Lastly, we went to see the Police Academy Stunt Show.

It was scary as cars were making doughnuts on the road and an actual explosion erupted. But all was part of the show. It was breathtaking.

We left Movieworld at about 5pm then head home and crashed.

It was a long day. But the smile on the kids' faces were priceless.

Wonder what I'd feel like when they leave next Friday.

So finally they are here

And the first thing on the itinerary is Movieworld.

So I took a day off at work and went with them.

Monique, Jazmin and Tita Judith went too.

That's my mum's sister, mama Neth [Carlo's mum] on the left.

The sun was up but it wasn't angry. It was just happy I think. Because it was shining down on us as we waited in line to get tickets at the gates.

There was nothing better to do so we kept on taking photos.

The line wasn't massive. There were just heaps of people.

And the kids were getting restless because from the outside, you can see the Superman Escape roller coaster.

And they could hear people screaming from the inside already having a blast.

And we were still stuck outside waiting in line to get in under the sun.

No wonder some people aren't really happy. We got burnt to a crisp.

As soon as we got in, we went to Bruce Wayne Manor. We saw the actual batmobile that was used in Batman Forever.

There will be more photos to come, I promise. My camera pictures will just have to do for now.

Umm.. I'm digressing again. Back to the topic at hand...

After the Bruce Wayne Manor, we went to see Shrek 4D.

It was good fun. We were led to cinema-style seats and were handed 3D glasses. The kids loved it. Especially when there were spiders on the screen and the bottom of our seats started spraying sprinkles of water. You can actually feel what's happening on the screen.

Next stop was a Looney Tunes dance revue.

I got to have a photo with Bugs Bunny but my ever reliable [Oh and I'm being very sarcastic here] camera phone kept on putting out crappy pictures. I don't think Moto likes me that much now.

Anyway, we had to wait for twenty minutes til the next dance revue so what better way to kill the time?

Took massive amount of photos, of course.

And I taught the kids to be a camera whore, like me.

And they were better than me.

See what I mean? They can stand, sit still for thirty seconds just to have the perfect pose.

Even the grown ups were getting in on the action too.

They didn't want to be left out of the snapping action, I don't think.

The Looney Tunes dance revue included Lola, Daffy, Bugs, Taz, Tweety and Sylvester. They just basically danced with a few funny tid bits here and there. Lola was the diva. With about three costume changes.

Then we went and saw the parade, we didn't get to take photos as we just videocammed the whole thing.

But I just couldn't resist taking a photo of Porky Pig. I just think he's absolutely cute.

With his Abidee-Abidee. Hehe.. If you squint, you can see Marvin the Martian too.

I have heaps more photos to show but I just couldn't find the time.

But this is not the end of our Movieworld Adventure.

More photos and stories to come, I promise.

There are no days off with Emmet

He managed to creep back in.

Well, that's not really true. I took him back.

But I haven't seen him since that night I took him back.

I think this time, I'll just let our relationship die a pathetic death.

I guess there's no point stressing out about where the relationship is going. Cos I know it's going nowhere, but still it beats breaking up twice so I'll just let it be.

I swear, I get smarter everytime I break up with someone.

So I brought Emmet back into the picture

Last night was an exchange of endless messages with Emmet.

Good Nite babe sweet dreams. The life coach fee for tonight is a trip to the movies to see V for Vendetta this week, nite cutie.

I was confused as to where everything is going. I just had to ask him or I'd lose my mind.

Can I ask you something? Why are you back? You ignored me for two weeks and now you're back like nothing happened. Just let me know so I won't be surprised. Cos I don't want to be disappointed again.

His reply was; :-(

Followed by..

I made a mistake and I miss you. I won't disappoint you again.

Then I messaged back saying...

Well I just can't pretend like nothing happened.. I just don't want to be disappointed again.. You only message me when you remember me.. I don't want to get hurt.. So tell me why you're back so at least I know...

His reply almost made me gave in. Almost.

I'm sorry I would like to see you again. It sounded like you were under a lot of pressure before and I didn't want you in the position because of me. I'm sorry.

But that wasn't the reason why I broke up with him...

I decided to stop seeing you because you didn't have time for me.. There were times when I really wanted to see you but you never called and that really hurt me.. Then you stopped messaging altogether and it hurt me ever more... I just can't be treated that way.. I want start seeing you again too but I just don't want to be disappointed.

There I said it. That was the reason we broke up and I won't sugar coat it for him.

I will always have time for you and I will not disappoint you, I swear.

I didn't know what to say. So I left it at that.

I don't know if I should believe him though. I want to give it another chance but I'm too scared that I won't be able to survive a free fall.

Hay, I don't know..

We really are crazy

Iris and I were cruising this arvo when I received a call from Brisbane. My relatives from Manila had arrived. They wanted me to go see them as soon as possible.

Since my Auntie doesn't know that a trip from Gold Coast to Brisbane takes one hour, she was upset when I told her I couldn't come.

You paid for my ticket and yet you can't come and see me, she fumed.

When I explained to her that it takes an hour to get there, she understood.

But my mind was already made up. I was going to drive over there and spend half an hour then drive home.

So I asked Iris if she could come with me.

She said yes. And the road trip began.

It surprised me that it took me forty-five minutes to drive to the city. I parked my car outside Conrad Treasury and waited for my cousin to pick us up to follow him home.

It had been ten years since I was in their house. The house changed and the people in there.

My cousin from Manila was waiting for me at the gazebo with her second daughter. She gave me a hug and what she said made me happy and proud.

"You lost weight.."

Yipee. Hurrah!!

Everyone said I changed so much since they last saw me. They wanted me to stay for dinner but Iris was my excuse. I told them that she had to be home for dinner - some bullshit like that. We're going to watch a movie later tonight - hee hee..

I was only there for about forty-five minutes. Michael wanted to go have a few drinks on Tuesday night so we'll have to see about that.

One hour and a half drive for a forty-five minute talk - Now you know you'd go through great lengths to see your loved ones.

And of course, the travel time going there and back was funny

Not to mention eduacational.

I told her about what happened last night. I went out and got absolutely trashed. It wasn't good.

I told her about the whole situation about Emmet. I told her how I'm confused I was - again.

And how I don't really know where this is going.

I don't know what brought it on but somehow, he's back in the picture and disorienting me at the same time. I don't want to get confused. I need to make a plan.

And she helped me formulate my plan.

I will put my cravings for bear hug on hostage. As well as my kisses and everything else that defined our relationship before.

So he will know the difference between being with me officially and being well, not with me officially.

I like hanging out with him, and I believe there's still something. Maybe this time we'll have to take things slow.

Like not demanding too much of his time and just taking things as they come.

No expectations and just pure fun by hanging out with him.

I don't think I can do that without being so disappointed again.

I really need to think about it. Think about getting back together with him.

But I guess that's all I have to think about.

Nothing else.

On our way home we talked about her what's-going-ons.

It was good. It was refreshing.

I liked it.

When I said I'm not going to be that girl, I did not expect this.

I did say I'm not going to be that girl, but what if it was him who wanted to catch up?

What if it was him who wanted to talk about what went wrong in the relationship?

I was online on Thursday night when he asked me if I wanted to go dor a drive. Since I didn't have anything to do, and since I wanted to see for myself if I was over him or not, I agreed to pick him up in his house and to go for a drive.

As soon as he got in my car, we started teasing each other, the way we did before. We talked about what happened to us in the past few weeks that we didn't see each other.

Then I dropped him off.

I just want to tell you something before you go, he said.

What, I asked. I was scared of what he was going to say.

The reason why I didn't call you after we split up is because I didn't want to put any pressure on you, I respect every decision that you make and I don't want to confuse you any longer. I'm not going to be the bad guy, he explained.

I told him it was ok. That I was over it.

He frowned when I said I was over it.

So I asked him why.

Because I want to see you again, he said.

That I did not expect.

He then took my hand and started playing with it.

I pulled it away and asked him to get out of my car. Nicely, though.

What? No bear hugs, he asked.

So I got out of the car and he gave me multiple bear hugs.

I heard him heaved a sigh.

Don't think about it, I said referring to what's going with us again.

I try not to think about it. Cos when I do it hurts, he said.

I looked up to have a look at his face and he leaned over to kiss me. It wasn't a romantic kiss, just a peck on the lips.

And I didn't feel anything.

But the bear hugs took my breath away.

And his messages after I got home.

Sweet dreams Nikki, have a super fun morning, nite at work tomorrow and I'm so happy to see your cute smile again even tho you hit me a few times lol ouch. Ps I'm buying the drinks tomorrow night. Good night cranky sweet dreams oxo.

And...

I really missed you teasing me the way you do and I just want to give you a big bear hug and make everything alright oxo. Adam SANDLER

I call him Adam Sandler because his hair is shaved and his head is egg-shaped - like Adam Sandler's.

My friends say that when he said that he wanted to see me again, it meant that he just wanted to physically see me.

But Keegan and my Uncle said that he might want to get back together.

But the question is, do you, Uncle asked.

It's a simple question that I just don't have an answer for.

The Excorcism of the blog slacking demon

I think I'm back to blogging. Forgive me if I haven't been updating my blog for a few days.

I cheated and speed blogged for a whole day enumerating each and every single thing that happened to me in the past week and putting them up here.

So I will, finally, blog about what happened to me in one big entry.

Firstly, two weeks after I broke up with him, my life is back on track. I'm smiling again.

I surprised myself for not giving in to the urges of calling him. I never really got the urge to grab my mobile phone and chat with him. It surprised me that only after three sleepless nights, the whole stalking debacle with Iris, the two angry MSN exchanges with him, the deleted email address from my friends' list [I know, so immature, but I had to do it], the editing of his name on my phone book [again, so childish, his was under -_-baby-_- but I had to change it back to his name], etc, had proved me that I handle break ups more maturely than before.

I never had a minor setback. Never did I call him for a chat. I never did my perpetual hello you, just wondering how you are, anyway hope you're doing great, text messages. The kinds that are chirpy and cheery but they can see right through it and to your horror, all they can do about it is shake their heads and delete the message and continue on with their lives.

I. Am. Not. Going. To. Be. That. Girl. Anymore.

That's why when I broke up with him, I swore to myself that I will not take back what I said. I will not tell him that occassionally, I think that I may have made a mistake. That I want to hear his voice just one time before I head for bed.

I don't want to be the pathetic loser who still hangs on to her ex even after she broke up with him.

And I think, the will and the desperation to prove to myself that I'm better than all these made me get through it. It's either I sink back and be the same Nikki who can't handle break ups. Or chin up and do something extraordinary and just move on without looking back.

I kept myself busy for the past couple of days. I threw myself at work. I never had a day off in ten days. Not once. And it felt great. I go to work, come home, snooze for a few hours and drive back to work. I did that for ten days straight.

And it helped me to not think about him. Now, when I do, I only have bittersweet thoughts of him. No remorse, no regrets... nothing. Just the good memories and the fact that I know I did the right thing.


Secondly, I've fully rekindled my friendship with Iris, we did our own thing last year. I think I only saw her for a grand total of three times. Or maybe five. But it was definitely less than ten.

But now, as I try to get over the whole clubbing scene and try to take up a new obsession [saving up for travel.. I'm finally doing it!], I realised that I need to surround myself with positive people. Not the ones that will make you drink more, smoke more [ok, I still smoke but I'm taking it one step at a time], probably on the verge of introducing you to the world of AIDS and lets you blow your cash when you hit town. I realise that watching a movie or having dinner with Iris and J is actually cheaper than staying up all night, drinking and getting massively hung over the next day.

Not only was she a great confidante during the whole Emmet saga but she cheered me up. Big time. So, yeah, I see the girl twice a week, which leads me to...

Thirdly, my obsession for homewares and interior desing and Ikea.

Ikea is my mecca. I'll make it a mission to go there at least once in two months and buy something for my room, my toilet or my future flat.

Going there makes me want to move out and decorate my own flat with something really funky. Like page 32 of the catalogue. Don't worry, I'm not an Ikea-obsessed monster who buys all her stuff from Ikea.

I want to be that girl but I just can't at the moment.

But I promise you, I will.

Fourth, my cousin is definitely coming. Along with my Auntie. In a desperate attempt to get my mother's sister to come over to Australia for a holiday, I offered to pay for half of her airfare and mum paid the other half. I didn't mind at all. This is the perfect opportunity to spend time with them.

I arranged to have morning shifts for ten days to have my afternoons and evenings free. There is no way I will pass up the opportunity to not go to MovieWorld and SeaWorld.

Fifth, my ex cracks me up. We're in speaking terms again. V and I managed to set aside the fact that we broke each other's hearts and started talking again. I told him I broke up with my ex. His reaction was hilarious.

What? And you're pregnant, he said.

I never said I was pregnant. He somehow thought I was pregnant and now I have to keep the baby and raise the child alone because I broke up with my kid's father.

Where the hell did he get the idea that I was knocked up in the first place. I couldn't stop laughing.

The rumor mill is everywhere. No matter where you are, you will never get away from it.

Sixth, sure I threw myself at work but I turned to comfort feeding as well. And I think I may have put on a little bit of weight. No, my jeans aren't snug. And my shirts aren't tight but I feel bloated. But then again, it might have something to do with the fact that I'm due for my monthly torture and I'm having cramps and hot flushes for the past couple of days now.

But if I still feel fat and bloated, I swear, I'm hitting the gym.

Seventh, since Iris has TFC at home. I got myself interested in Pinoy Big Brother. The Celebrity edition was quite funny.

I only get interested during the final evictions of Big Brother. I get my jollies by finding out who the ultimate housemate is without having to tune in during the whole season. Can't wait for the Aussie Version though.

Eighth, I'm completely lost with the OC, the only time I got to watch one ep of the third season was last night and I slept through the second half of it. And the first half was spent flipping between the OC and Dancing with the Stars.

Ninth, I haven't caught up with Smallville to think that Dimps' brother has the whole series on DVD. And I got the whole seasons 1 and 2 here sitting at home but haven't had the time to watch.

Tenth, Prisonbreak is one of the hottest shows on TV. That's the only show that I perpetually watch. Not because of Wentworth Miller but because of the plot and the prison scenes. With guys like Wentworth Miller in those cells, no wonder they turn gay in there.

Eleventh, one of my friends has a boyfriend. Fair enough she's happy and she wants to get my approval on him, but I just want her to think back when I was with Emmet.

Was she happy for me?

Had she ever told me that she supports my relationship with Emmet? I told her to be nice and to respect the fact that I was with Emmet but she couldn't even do that. And now she wanted my approval on her new boyfriend. Hell, no.

I'm not saying i'm selfish but i'm not selfless either.

I guess that's it for now. I spent a fair bit of time.

I'll see you in a week, I guess.

Just something stupid

You're right.

It was a good night.

I got so desperate I asked him to take me back

Happy April Fool's day, by the way.

The day just went by quick without me even organising a prank to my parents, my friends and the people I work with.

But I did go to Ikea with Iris and bought a fair bit of stuff.

I bought this, this, this, this, this, this and something like this.

We then went to Brisbane for the day just walking around and window shopping.

I didn't tell her then that I it was the first time I ever driven to Brisbane by myself. But I admire her faith in me. She only told me what to do twice in the whole journey.

Yes, my first day of April was good.